The Single Screen

वो…जो खो रहा है

“Tujhe sharam nahin aati khud ko Indian bolte huye?” (UPDATED)

with 326 comments

Varun offenseSo this was supposed to be a standard corporate gig. Event management company ‘BOI Media and Entertainment  Pvt Ltd.’ contacted me for this a few days ago and though I had never done any but am in severe cash crunch, so decided to do it.

What happened

6 pm: I reach the venue (Hotel Leela, Andheri East) to find out that the gig is for a party thrown by German Consulate so lots of foreigners (“from 15 countries”) are around. The show is an hour away and the in-charge from client side tells me “No references to caste, religion, or slang words including ‘F words’.” I was told to cut down my set duration from 30 to 15-20 if that’s what it takes to take out the bad words. She confessed she had seen my videos on youtube (Sadma Awards i think) where I used lots of hindi gaalis. I promised I won’t use any Hindi or English gaalis, and no reference to caste or religion.

7 pm: I cut down my material to a cool 15 minutes, feeling good about less stage time for a while. The venue was not at all conducive for a stand-up show (a huge hall with seating in all corners, no stage or spotlights etc.) But then, in a corporate gig, I was prepared for these things so didn’t bother much.

8:00 pm: I go on stage. These are the major lines/jokes/thoughts I shared.

1. Nice to be in a room with people from so many countries and not fighting for oil.

2. Indians in the room give me a cheer. (Indians cheered.) And now people who don’t honk like mad at traffic signals, give me a cheer. (Some foreigners got the joke and cheered.)

3. Indians love honking and driving rash because we believe in rebirth. While you foreigners have only one birth so you drive safely.

4. I am an IITian so I come from a place where masturbating 5 times a day is normal.

5. 3-4 jokes on beef ban in Madhya Pradesh and how other animals must be feeling inferior to cows.

(At this point, the girl from BOI Media comes and taps on my shoulder to avoid “slangs”. I confused, in the middle of a set, just nod “yes”.)

6. I talk about how i grew up in a conservative household – about how watching a condom ad with your parents was a huge deal in the late 80s.

(At this point she comes again and tells me to wrap up RIGHT NOW.)

7. I wrap up and go back to the console.

Besharam Indian

8:15 pm: The girls from BOI Media look at me as if i just did a Miley Cyrus on stage. They ask me why did I flout the ‘brief’ and talk “dirty things”. I am trying to explain to them there was nothing dirty in there when 2-3 men gather around me (one older man, one in his 30s, and one in his 40s) telling me “Sharam nahin aati khud ko Indian kahte huye?” (Aren’t you ashamed to call yourself Indian?)

I am still figuring out which part of my set was anti-Indian and the man in his 50s says “Only Indians honk at traffic signal? Do you think we are uncivilized?” I nod a yes in reflex honesty but manage a ‘sorry but…’ when the man in his 40s, already few pegs down I hope, said “Tum jaison ko goli maar deni chaahiye!” (People like you should be shot dead.) I instantly check for signs of satire on his grim face but find none. Am just happy he is not a politician’s son carrying guns in his underwear.

While I am apologizing and explaining to these angry men that what I was saying was ‘personal opinion and satire’, two girls show up and one of them says “I am also an IITian and I feel so bad that you maligned the name of my Institute. How dare you say such horrible things about India and IIT in front of foreigners?” I begin to ask “Which IIT you are from…” and she just turns away half mumbling the most un-eff-word curse she would know.

Varun majority8:30 pm: The two girls from BOI Media are talking to their bosses and explaining the horror they just witnessed. I decide to step out and get some non-prudent air when another one (a 40-ish year old man) accosts me and says “EVERYBODY IS ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU JUST GAVE OUR COUNTRY A VERY BAD NAME!” I ask him calmly “How sir? I need to know. Honestly.” And he said “You spoke as if India is only bad things. We honk, we masturbate, we kill cows…” I ask him “Have you seen any standup comedy in your life ever?” He says “Doesn’t matter. You were dirty. And I am going to sue the hotel and you for allowing such a thing.”

I take the deepest sigh I have taken in a long while and step out. Predictably, I am told that the cheque (promised right after the gig) is not ready. I will have to meet the BOI Media bosses tomorrow for that to get through.

9 pm: Am in a cab home when somebody (apparently senior) from BOI Media calls me and asks me to explain what happened. I explain and she says “But you were told specifically to not use slang or jokes on caste or religion.” I tell her to go through the video and find me one joke that fits the description. She says you have to apologize (write a letter, meet them tomorrow etc.). I tell her to make the promised payment and get an apology. And then comes the shocker I had not expected even after such a bizarre evening. “We want you to write an apology letter AND forfeit your fees.” I feel like laughing and crying at such immense stupidity of human species even after millions of years of so-called evolution. She cuts the call before I could.

Learnings: 

1. There was a reason I never did corporate shows. They are not the people who want to listen or have fun or be amused at new ideas. But I did this one time, owing to cash crunch as well as “ek baar kar ke dekhne mein kya hai!” syndrome. Heeraman of Teesri Kasam type my 1st Kasam – NEVER do a corporate gig again. Corporate world is full of assholes or prudes or prude assholes.

2. Hypocrisy of the privileged Indian is mind-numbingly sad.  The older man told me on my way out, probably seeing my sad face, ‘Talking about such things in private is ok. But in front of so many girls…it was not done.’

3. Inferiority complex of our fellow nationals is depressing. Saying Indians honk can offend people and saying IITians masturbate can drive people to wish me dead.

4. Always take advance payment for corporate gigs. I didn’t. And now I am stuck with a bad day, horrible client who didn’t even brief me properly, death wish by offended people, and an unpaid amount of 30K.  So Hiraman ki doosri kasam – Take advance for any gig. (Haha! As if am getting any more gigs now.)

5. The foreigners were all enjoying the show while Indians were struck by lightening. Foreigners masturbate i guess.

6. To the man who asked me that loaded question, yes, after meeting such people,  I do feel ashamed to be an Indian.

Closing note: 

I needed to share this for a few reasons.

1. Venting out after such a horrible experience at the hands of prudes and full of shit Indians.

2. See if it goes around, shared by enough people, and reaches BOI Media Pvt Ltd. and they compensate me for my time and performance, not to mention the mental trauma and threats.

3.  See if it can reach German Consulate and they intervene with the good sense that they were not offended, that they have a sense of humour, and tell the Indian client to take it light. Long shot, but not as long as a stand-up comic getting killed for saying Indians honk on traffic signal.

******************************************

UPDATE: 

I got paid in full and baa-izzat by BOI Media today. Their team of Directors behaved really professionally today. (Social media impact zindabaad!) No mention of me apologizing to them or client was made and the cheque was handed over without any fuss. Of course they didn’t apologize for the insult and anger I had to face yesterday, but honestly, I wasn’t even expecting that. (Am not that hopeful about the world.) So yes, thanks for all the support and noise and words of encouragement – everything helped.

Of course the Taliban-ke-poot who threatened me y’day go scot free – but am sure some of them would have read the blog (63,000 views!) by now and will feel 2-paisa shame about their existence.

Written by The Single Screen

November 14, 2013 at 12:03 am

326 Responses

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  1. Poor you. The first warning sign was the lack of a written brief IMHO. Of course, the jerks should have paid you anyway. In fact, they have no reason to not pay you, given that they never specified in written what you could and could not say. Sorry, latent corporate nit picking :)

    akshara

    November 14, 2013 at 12:20 am

    • I went ahead and sent them an email via their contact box witht he following content “And the aap chutiye ban gaye award for corporate stupidity goes to “BOI Media” http://thesinglescreen.wordpress.com/2013/11/14/tujhe-sharam-nahin-aati-khud-ko-indian-bolte-huye/

      Getta life and learn how to treat artist you corporate dumbasses! ”

      I guess a few dozen emails and this should ring some alarms somewhere!

      Surya Kiran Ganti

      November 14, 2013 at 12:29 pm

      • they would die if russell peters shows up……

        mridul

        November 14, 2013 at 4:37 pm

        • hahahahahahah Sorry i laugh whenever i remember russell peters

          Andy

          November 14, 2013 at 6:27 pm

        • @surya can you give me the email ID … will send an email too and will also tell my frnds about this incident!

          Monal.

          November 14, 2013 at 7:17 pm

      • maybe the crowd picked u out because you where from iit where they recieve a million applications and only a few are selected the rejects never released their frustration till now

        sai

        November 15, 2013 at 9:05 am

    • Maybe its just me, but as an Indian living in India and you deliberately did not take social cues. You try to mask your disdain for ‘corporate’ folks by pretending to not know what they wanted and how you were caught off guard. But it seems you are not as stupid or ignorant about the culture that you walked into as you are trying to convey.
      As far as lessons learned, if I were you , I would just review my material with the host the next time. Sometimes artists forget that they are paid to entertain their target audience. You thought people would find you funny but they did not and your ego was hurt .
      So in typical ‘Indian’ fashion you lashed out resorting to ‘dadagiri’ by using your fame to stir up controversy.
      In the end , seeing that you ‘are not easily offended’ you made good money for doing a crappy job.

      FYI, I personally do like sarcasm and am not easily offended. But not everyone is like me and I should not start judging others because they are different.

      RJ

      November 16, 2013 at 5:53 am

      • Hey RJ U AN ASSOLE OR A BITCH ?…PERSONALLY U WOULD DO FINE BOTH WAYS…NO ONE’S GOT NO RIGHT TO WALK OVER AND SAY SHIT IN THE FACE…BESIDES NUMBNUTS….F**K U AND ALLTHE IIMS AND IITS….WE ARE LIVING IN A SHITTY AND CORRUPT COUNTRY ….SO f YOURSELF AND GO EAT SHIT…THE AUDIENCE COMPRISED OF NON INDIANS TOO ASSW**E….SO GO GET A LIFE.

        NRI

        November 17, 2013 at 5:21 pm

      • @RJ – You got it right.

        Ss$s

        November 22, 2013 at 10:47 am

      • Agree whole-heartedly with RJ.

        Nandan

        February 19, 2014 at 1:18 am

  2. That is unbelievable intolerance by your audience. If they cannot tolerate a stand up comedy material which was void of the requested topics (religion,caste,gaalis etc) , they might as well have invited a circus clown like P C Sarkar (as some people invite for kids birthday parties) for their entertainment. Maybe they would even complain on his disappearing trick & call it as “Not Indian”

    Sireesha

    November 14, 2013 at 12:28 am

    • Seriously no idea what they expected in a comedy show.

      The Single Screen

      November 14, 2013 at 1:19 am

      • What they expected was : To not make them guilty to any extent, leave alone publicily, in front of foreigners.What most Indians are after is, not genuine respect that one gets because of one’s virtues, it is absolute fame they are after.Your lines disturbed this totally, by making them …

        All they wanted was some high end jokes to pass the evening, and get the foreigners nicely entertained, only they didn’t knew what those high end jokes would be -they naively tried to remotely tell you -no gaalis. and all, but that was that.

        But what your jokes did was shatter, harshly, the long, artificial, elite (having no idea themselves on what that is), respect, in the eyes of foreigners that they wanted to build/enforce.

        Yuvraj

        November 14, 2013 at 7:32 am

        • Yuvraj, you just nailed it.

          Everything within us is fine but when comes to an international forum, there must be a line between making light-hearted fun and insulting.

          Monit Rathore

          November 14, 2013 at 6:01 pm

    • Do you even know who pc sarkar is?

      anonymous king

      November 14, 2013 at 4:31 am

      • hahahahaha. PC sarkar the circus clown!!! That’s good standup comedy material…

        mainak

        November 14, 2013 at 7:40 am

    • miss whoever you are, P C Sarcar is no circus clown. mind that.

      Subarno

      November 14, 2013 at 8:25 am

      • Hey Subarno, chill, man! I am sure Sireesha didn’t mean to offend…by the way, why are you offended..are circus clowns not people? don’t they too entertain, just like PC Sorcar…they are quite in similar professions, no? Or, are you hurt cos you are a bong too?

        Sandeep

        November 14, 2013 at 2:11 pm

        • hehehhhe!!!! Bang on,,,!

          Andy

          November 14, 2013 at 7:05 pm

      • I guess you belong to the group who get offended by anything and everything. I feel sad for those around you.

        Paul

        November 14, 2013 at 2:20 pm

        • The way it was said “hahahahaha. PC sarkar the circus clown!!! ” – definitely in a derogatory sense. How about saying “hahahahaha. Sachin Tendulkar, the clown”, “hahahahaha. Michael Jackson, the clown” or “hahahahaha. , the clown”? not derogatory?

          thepsychologicmail

          November 14, 2013 at 6:40 pm

      • PC Sarkar is not a clown, he is an illusionist .. Sireesha apne bong asmita ko hurt kiya hai.

        abhi

        November 14, 2013 at 10:07 pm

        • Aap chutiye hain if you really mean what you are.saying

          ansh997x

          November 22, 2013 at 9:34 am

    • P C Sarkar isn’t a clown.. He’s also a performer. So please respect him.

      sagar

      November 14, 2013 at 10:20 am

      • I guess you belong to the group who get offended by anything and everything. I feel sad for those around you.

        Paul

        November 14, 2013 at 2:19 pm

      • Clowns are performers too, btw.

        BlahBlah

        November 14, 2013 at 4:41 pm

    • P C Sorkar is dead. And he was India’s best magician and not a clown.

      kakiwho

      November 14, 2013 at 11:00 am

      • Do you think Circus Clown is a derogatory term? I don’t think so..ever try being one…by the way, Circus all over the world is quite a respectful word…I do not find Sireesha to be out of line…by the way, are you a Bengali?

        Sandeep

        November 14, 2013 at 2:09 pm

        • As honking horn makes an “indian” uncivilized acc to majority indians, calling P C sorkar a clown brings down his reputation in the same logic i guess.. Or does it ???

          banerjee

          November 14, 2013 at 5:41 pm

    • PC Sarkar : Circus Clown :: Sireesha : Intelligent and informed

      Vikram

      November 14, 2013 at 12:14 pm

      • The Senior PC Sorcar is dead. His son, PC Sorcar Jr. is also a very well-established magician, not a circus clown. Not belittling circus clowns, just clarifying PC Sorcar isn’t one.

        Trina Datta

        November 14, 2013 at 3:39 pm

        • Y wud u think a Circus clown is disrespectful???
          this “I am a bong”, “I am a Marathi”, etc sentiments are of the past….
          Grow a pair and say that i am an Indian.
          And i am sure any 1 disrespecting PC sorkar on the Internet would’nt tarnish a bit of his Image.

          Prangan Banerjee

          November 15, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    • umm..is this another ‘PC Sarkar’ the clown you know or PC Sorcar, the magician, you are referring to..hope not the latter

      Abhik Dutta

      November 14, 2013 at 6:01 pm

    • There’s no need to insult a great performer like PC Sorcar, irrespective of your sentiments

      Prithwiraj

      November 14, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    • So, instead of getting my point, some people here have bashed me for getting certain facts incorrectly in those 5 lines I typed in. Sure I did mention a Circus Clown / Magician/ tricks INTERCHANGEABLY. I do not give a shit to anyone who made fun of me here & I do not take what they wrote seriously (but looks like there are pussies who take what I wrote seriously as if what I write mattered to them a lot), because I laugh at my mistakes ! lol

      Sireesha

      November 15, 2013 at 5:30 am

  3. We masturbate, we just don’t prefer talk about it :D

    I guess everything is against Indian culture these days :P

    ansh997x

    November 14, 2013 at 12:34 am

  4. This is horribly wrong. Sorry about what you went through. It is indeed shameful that we can’t laugh at ourselves but will quickly point fingers to blame someone for pointing out the obvious.
    BOI Media should apologize and definitely compensate you for the gig that you put up, and for the trauma and threats that you had to face. Getting threats on making jokes on behaviour in traffic and masturbation are pretty outrageous; and staggeringly backward.

    Sharing this. Hope people hear about what complete asshats BOI have been with you, and hope things work out for you. *hug*

    Agratha Dinakaran

    November 14, 2013 at 12:36 am

    • Thanks for the support.

      The Single Screen

      November 14, 2013 at 1:20 am

      • I agree…we become ‘broadminded’ and enjoy other people laughing at other people…I bet, if some firangi stand-up had done the same thing, made the same jokes at that event, BOI media wd hv sucked up and would have recounted it as well…the problem is that you are an Indian…you cannot make fun of yourself…haan, it its the gora sahib ridiculing us, then its ok…we are still bloody pre1947 gulaams… I am also sure that had that conference had no firangis, even then you would have been accepted…problem hansne mein nahin hai…its “in front of foreigners” part that rattled BOI…I hope you come back stronger…

        Sandeep

        November 14, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    • You can actually make a whole set out of this incident! :D

      anonymous king

      November 14, 2013 at 8:04 am

  5. Disheartening. But this should be first case for Consumer Forum where the service provider is not satisfied. Try your luck there, or may be more shows in colleges where students love masturbating. :)

    thepuccacritic

    November 14, 2013 at 12:39 am

    • Have performed in front of much elder, seemingly conservative crowd too, but never saw such behavior.

      The Single Screen

      November 14, 2013 at 1:21 am

      • They probably weren’t of this elite, prudish asshole types

        Avik Ghatak

        November 14, 2013 at 2:06 pm

  6. Sad. I believe it’s humor for these people as long as it has a background score and over the top actions to support it. Fail.

    Long shot you would get anything out of them leave aside being compensated. Make sure they don’t pull off any legal shit for “defaming” the brand. Heads up..

    Anyway, I’m a fan of your work like thousands of people out there. More power to you. Cheers

    Shivam Sharma

    November 14, 2013 at 12:45 am

  7. A few thoughts:
    1. I’ve seen videos of you doing stand-up, and I follow you on twitter, and I think, generally, you’re hilarious and have a balanced view on things.
    2. I think you are, of course, completely in the right on this one. Making jokes about honking and masturbation doesn’t breach your brief of not using slang or referring to caste or religion. They may not have liked your jokes, but you worked per your brief and should be paid. Asking you to forfeit your fees is downright ludicrous.
    3. That said, I think stereotype based humour is easy and passe. I think generalizations such as ‘the corporate world is full of prudish assholes’ and ‘Most Indian nationals have an inferiority complex’ are both hasty and inaccurate. A large enough number of Indian nationals, many of whom also have corporate jobs, have enjoyed your sets enough in the past for you to even get the kind of performing opportunities that you now do.
    4. 30 k for a 15 minute set?! Good on you, man.

    Avtar Gilligan

    November 14, 2013 at 12:51 am

    • I prepared for a 40 minute set. 30K is (my guess) the minimum any indian stand up comic will charge for a corporate show.

      The Single Screen

      November 14, 2013 at 1:01 am

    • Though I agree it is unfair to label the corporate world as prude assholes, give him a break man. He’s obviously upset.

      Sagnik

      November 14, 2013 at 9:03 am

    • Indians are hypocrites. They will watch all the possible Adult comedy movies & get offended when they watch a condom ad with their family. I feel sorry for what you had to go through, I am sure you will get your share of compensation. The half drunk man who called you an Indian traitor must be enjoying porn everyday & masturbating several times. Bloody hypocrite!

      Janhavi

      November 14, 2013 at 11:11 am

    • Avtar..after reading a few of the comments (I gave up after a while), I think the one that makes perfect sense and sums it up best is your comment. But I guess we haven’t heard the last one on this yet. And naturally, I would like to hear the other side of the story, unless its hiding in the trail below.

      Abhik Dutta

      November 14, 2013 at 6:10 pm

  8. Reblogged this on Avi na ssh and commented:
    This is so wrong.an artist is denied payment by easily offended and insecure class of our society

    Avinash Gupta

    November 14, 2013 at 1:13 am

  9. Well I work in the events industry, what you described is a pretty regular affair. Forget artists even vendor’s who provide service n equipments for events, are not paid on time and have to wait for months together for it, hell I’m still waiting for my payments to come since April. Rule of thumb, get everything on paper/email. And always get 100% advance.

    Gags

    November 14, 2013 at 1:18 am

  10. Well, this is sad, simply sad. Evidently the bunch of oldies you did this show for lacked sense of humor and definitely have never been to a stand up comedy show. What i don’t follow is, why would they hire a stand up comedian, when clearly a full fledged bhajan was what they wanted!!

    RC

    November 14, 2013 at 1:18 am

    • their, the organizers, calculation also went terribly wrong.
      Had they known beforehand, what he was going to say, would they have even allowed him to enter the locality?

      Yuvraj

      November 14, 2013 at 7:34 am

  11. I am not surprised but I am in some sense. However in a city like Mumbai i expected people to have more space for jokes and taking it light..therefore am surprised. Its sad to note the treatment you received & for the event mgmt team allowing for such interactions b/w you and the audience post the pushed wrap up show. Am sure all these men who were trying to preach you whats right/wrong are aresholes ofcourse….

    Jan

    November 14, 2013 at 1:35 am

  12. You should protest by masturbating daily in front of the office of the agency and the client until you get paid.

    Papa CJ

    November 14, 2013 at 1:36 am

    • That’s Gandhian style !!

      Sharad B

      November 14, 2013 at 1:55 am

      • The Gandhian style would be turning the other butt cheek.

        radius86

        November 14, 2013 at 2:06 am

    • Getting paid for masturbation; clearly not just a service any more, as much as it is a privilege.

      radius86

      November 14, 2013 at 2:04 am

  13. This is hilarious and sad at the same time. They were offended because you told the truth and not because your jokes were out of the brief. You should be the one who should sue them. Such hypocrites. Any Indian who denies honking in the traffic, masturbation etc…is a liar. If they wanted to be so strict with their image then they should have sent you an email with the guidelines prior to the show. They should have asked for a copy of your script/ set list…etc. Also, they cant deny you payment if the audience was laughing at your jokes….because that was why you were hired…to crack jokes…make them laugh. But at the end of the day these morons are behaving like…well typical Indians…knowingly living in denial and punishing the ones who points out the red throbbing pimples on their faces.Do we have and Elephant in the room . No, we have a giant big False Indian Ego.

    Saurav

    November 14, 2013 at 1:40 am

    • pretty right.
      Only, a thing, believe me -Since I have over some time, talked to similar people as they,

      I have realized that, in the venues where Indians are among foreigners, and here foreigners, mean the people from any country in NA, Europe, to some extent SAmerica, and to the east -Japan, singapore, whenever indians are among ppl from such countries, they -most Indians, feel damn inferior, irrespective of any factor, that is -blindly accepting foreigners as gods/highly competent ones.

      Now, essentially, Indians do consider themselves inferior, but … they dont want ‘anyone’ else to point it to them. And his jokes, pointed it, in the form of guilt. Thus, shattering the glass image of (respect in other people’s eyes/fame), they wanted to retain in front of foreigners.

      Anyways, this whole event was a result of un-intentional confusion on basic subjects, between him and they.
      Both didn’t knew, what to expect, and ironically -both had thought that it would all go fine.

      Yuvraj

      November 14, 2013 at 7:58 am

      • Believe you just because you say so? What are you, 4?

        Sagnik

        November 14, 2013 at 9:07 am

  14. chutiya nandoon ki kami nahi. they have to fucking pay you. if they don’t, share their name and numbers, will spread the word and they should be blacklisted.

    blahblahblah (@CilemaSnob)

    November 14, 2013 at 1:40 am

  15. Feel bad for you. Like you said and other pointed out…get it in writing and get an advance (or atleast 50%) before you start. But, not knowing which corporate this was, I suspect you would have had a few prudes at the top level who would have made faces / body language signals. Most others would have found it quite acceptable but decided to show how offended they were and aghast. Most under 30′s would not be offended by the stuff you said. So I guess I am saying corporate events may be ok…just find out about your audience first. Good luck!

    Rohit

    November 14, 2013 at 1:47 am

  16. Am a Dubai based comedian and being in the middle east i always start my set by saying ” Middle east is the only place where i get paid not to say things”…This is a case of a Mis-booking and is absolutely the fault of the events company.A 100% written brief is more important than a 50% advance in such cases.At one of the recent events i did an “Important” person got offended by the fact that i mentioned that their city had “TRAFFIC” and actually was pulled aside and told that it is “HARAM” to talk about traffic.

    As a comedian im sure you must be going with feeding on whatever the audience is giving and even though we do our corporate gigs for the cash but cases like these can seriously affect the morale of an artist who is on stage with nothing but the genuine intention of just making people laugh.

    You are a great talent and im sure you will do many corporate events where the “WHY LAUGH” would turn into ” WHY NOT” and once you are done with these corporate gigs no stage will ever be a challenge.

    There is a reason why there is the word “STAND UP” before comedian…..Looking forward to know how your next corporate gig goes.

    Rock on bro

    Nitin Mirani

    November 14, 2013 at 1:49 am

    • I’ve read almost all the replies on this thread but I must say I’m really impressed with the sense of realistic optimism with which Nitin speaks here.
      Cheers to that Sir !

      Utsav Sharma

      November 16, 2013 at 3:30 pm

  17. The thing u said ‘majority of assholes’ that is so true….
    and not just elderly men and women, but even the young fail to understand the concept of common sense and humour… Here the most bizzare and senseless thing can become a festival of a large number of people follow it :/
    #India

    Amaan Merchant

    November 14, 2013 at 1:50 am

  18. Explains why shows like Comedy Nights With Kapil do so well – People want loud, politically correct humor.

    Salil Khetani

    November 14, 2013 at 1:51 am

    • exactly.That is the humour they want :that should, in a way, keep them in the shells of nice-ty.

      Yuvraj

      November 14, 2013 at 8:05 am

  19. I’ve done stand up from time to time. I hear your pain. This country for most party cannot understand anything than digging a finger in your ass and barfing on it. The banality of what passes of for comedy is appallingly horrifying.

    Until we as a people realize that humour is medium of observing the real quirks of a world gone hopelessly wrong, there is no hope for this nation. There are exceptions to this as witnessed by the comments in this blog, but they are sadly few and far in between.

    Prithvi

    November 14, 2013 at 1:53 am

  20. Not surprised. We are an amazingly prudish, coy, huge chip-on-the-shoulder society…I think your learnings are bang on…take the payment in advance and get a written brief…

    Apurv

    November 14, 2013 at 1:55 am

  21. Other than the part where the Event management company refused to pay you and the drunk guy threatening to shoot you, I can’t find fault with much else. The point is your act fell flat, your audience was not amused, worse still they were offended. That is a failure on your part. You can not blame the audience for failing to meet your expectation of finding your piece humorous. Further, accusing them of being prudish or calling them assholes is a bit silly on your part. A dialogue from Funny people comes to mind:
    Ira Wright: Do you ever get tired of singing the same songs, you know, over and over?
    James Taylor: Do you ever get tired of talking about your dick? “

    letterman

    November 14, 2013 at 1:57 am

    • The INDIANS among them (30% of the room) didn’t find it funny. For reasons i stated. And they threatened me with death for THOSE reasons. If you think all that is right then you just add to the sadness of our race.

      Everything else, not getting paid or people not laughing at jokes, is just trivia.

      The Single Screen

      November 14, 2013 at 2:10 am

      • But don’t you have a written contract, or an email from them? Because if you do, then I’d encourage you to sue the f**k out of BOI Media.

        Kunal

        November 14, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    • Is a sensible man, the one, who gets offended to such extent? when truth is stated in front of him.

      Ok. I get the usual, but ironic comment : “Everyone has one’s own choice of humor, and we didn’t find this guy funny”. Right?

      Man, then why couldn’t the event managers, gather the sense to send him a long mail of guidelines, to be followed, at the event?
      They gave the guidelines, maximum 2 hrs before the show, and HE-THIS COMIC, adhered to those guidelines TECHNICALLY. Yes. He DID.
      And if you die to say, “oh, but he didn’t adhere to them essentially”-as is the cause, as to why, this whole fiasco happened, then here’s my answer to you and everyone like you -”Man, if you want a thing (in this case -a comic act) essentially according TO YOUR satisfaction, then you have to tell WELL IN ADVANCE, about the jokes to be cracked -SO THAT, the comic either has time to refuse (since if Varun, would have known about their views beforehand -maybe he would have refused to come to the event, since they wanted him to change his style of jokes and he maybe wouldn’t have wanted that), or the comic is given enough time to prepare for jokes, he doesn’t know much about
      And 2 hours is not that time, not when there is hush and rush of event at a hotel.

      Do share your gracious thoughts on this -Letterman, it will be nice to read them.

      Yuvraj

      November 14, 2013 at 8:22 am

    • This piece is about how these people called him an anti-national and other adjectives that were uncalled for. He’s not talking about a set falling flat, because that happens to the best of comedians. If you start thinking about what offends whom, go live in North Korea where you have the right to say nothing and hence avoid any chance of offence. Safest bet right?

      Tushar Kamath (@Bigtorquer)

      November 14, 2013 at 1:08 pm

  22. Reblogged this on Cinema Paradiso and commented:
    This is such a shameful act and hypocrisy by BOI media!!

    cinemaparadiso

    November 14, 2013 at 2:01 am

  23. It is ironic that someone expected you to be ashamed ‘to call yourself an Indian’ just because you joked about certain things that are perfectly true. They were offended, not by the jokes, but by the fact that foreigners were audience to those jokes! I am curious, did they expect to hear “knock, knock” jokes?I mean, if you really take away everything that they might have considered offensive, you are left with few other options!

  24. Viral!

    Eldrich Elda Fish (@eldrichr)

    November 14, 2013 at 2:04 am

  25. hahahhahaha. Ignore their existence. Those handful of self righteous grease-balls have a million opposing people who unanimously consider them as *choose preferred profanity*. Spit on them and be grateful that there are people who have a sense of humor. The biggest fools are the BOI media morons. An adult comic! What were they expecting? knock knock jokes? Ignore them. They aren’t the first and won’t be the last.

    Tushar Kamath (@Bigtorquer)

    November 14, 2013 at 2:11 am

  26. Clearly there was an issue with the brief or as it seems the absence of it. I have worked with several stand up comedians on corporate gigs and we have never had any issues whatsoever. In fact each show has been fabulous and enjoyed thoroughly by the audiences. From what I read, what seems to have gone grossly wrong in this case is that the event company hasn’t shared a brief with you in time and more so has failed to understand the nature of the client and / or the guests attending the event. With such an audience, even with a brief, I would never have recommended stand up comedy.

    In terms of payments, as an artist, you must definitely seek an advance no matter what. However, generalising that all corporate shows have audiences as bad or would be as bad (overall) as what you have experienced wouldn’t be right.
    Also, the earnings in a corporate show are much higher and you must not strike it off because of one bad experience. In fact, the learning is not to do a gig without a clear brief on the client, brand, dos & don’ts rather than not do it at all. The audience that comes in for stand up comedy shows also usually work somewhere becoming a part of the same audience eventually.

    Also, BOI should definitely ensure that they pay you even if the client doesn’t because it seems that there has been no timely briefing from their end. They have been an artist management company when they started and with that have been on the artist end of the business as well and should definitely realise the mismanagement here and not let you suffer on it.

    M (@MeghaGhosh)

    November 14, 2013 at 2:15 am

    • I did ask for brief more than once. They didn’t reply to my emails (Have proof of that.) In fact, the event people were also surprised to see so many white people among the audience and confessed they didn’t know this.

      And AFTER the show was done, she tells me – “You know they were scientists.” (Not that i’d have expected scientists to be utter prudes…but the fact that she was telling me this after the show was surprising.)

      The Single Screen

      November 14, 2013 at 2:18 am

  27. I agree with whatever you said but those memes are not funny and most of the jokes are not that funny.

    yeda

    November 14, 2013 at 2:37 am

  28. Would you agree that you and the client rep might have come from different backgrounds and do not share the sense of humor? Isn’t life in India about diversity and recognizing that everyone might not agree with you?

    True, your client should not have been offended, but you have taken offense at their outrage.

    Devil's ADvocate

    November 14, 2013 at 2:48 am

    • I understand what you’re saying here, but this doesn’t end in just difference of opinion. It might’ve been alright if they paid, told him they were disappointed and were never hiring him again. They simply refused to pay because they were unsatisfied. Would you visit a restaurant, order a new dish, and refuse to pay because you didn’t like the way it tasted? You’re allowed not to like it, but you can’t condemn something only because it isn’t really your thing.

    • He worked and didnt get paid … Obviously he is offended…

      Saurabh

      November 14, 2013 at 6:48 pm

  29. Did you just compare Germans to Indians and how they perceive and take jokes? That’s the funniest joke I read here.

    Its a lot more complex than you think. I rekon you should think about what was India like 50 years ago. They were burning women, killing them and believed in that kids are handed over by the gods after years of mediation. Most people still want men over women babies. In what scenario is that ok? Should India be a land of only men and that too all straight?? I think that’s a great idea!! I mean don’t you know who are you dealing with?

    Talking to them 40-50 years old people, you forgot you are talking to a different set of minds. You should have seen this coming, I dunno how old you are, but changing yourself doesn’t mean that the deep-rooted, part of the furniture old people, will grow up. Coz they already are grown up, as much as they ever would. They didn’t tie u up and threw rocks at you till u were dead, so they have grown up. Evolution happens and then the next set evolves more, the older ones don’t, they stop at one point. Just thank god u were not killed on ur way home.

    Its more like you made a bad decision of taking a gig that you shouldn’t have and now screaming that they didn’t like you. Of course they wouldn’t, you cannot expect the same behaviour of todays teens from the longstanding Oaks. I hope this helps u evolve, like u expect ‘them’ to. Maybe next time you will recognise one thing, running into a brick wall head on will end up u in a hospital, not through it. They are metaphors to motivate, not to be taken for real. Make some friends, get your heat out there. Internet posting is lame.

    Don’t think u’l understand the young generations when you are 50, they wont give a rats ass about what you think.

    EVOLVE your humour so your talent is not just recognised by buncha kids tryna be white boys and not sniffing their fingers out their arse holes, but by all.

    Not Indian

    November 14, 2013 at 2:54 am

    • BOOORIIIINGGG !!

      ImaNinjaww

      November 14, 2013 at 8:58 am

    • My god, you’re talking about “evolving” while typing like a teenage girl with zits.

      Gurdit

      November 14, 2013 at 2:14 pm

      • Then go home Grandpa, no one wants you around anyways!!

        Not Indian

        November 14, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    • Don’t be stupid.. The guy in link is German Ambassador to the UN and they are not offended about him… so why should they care about an Indian stand up??

      Ranga

      November 14, 2013 at 10:08 pm

  30. Completely your fault! Any good performer knows their audience and what they are getting into…. So if you failed to do your homework and recognises arseholes at first sight – then you are absolutely at fault! (Someone from BOI media will obviously believe that I am holding you responsible but perhaps satire ain’t an idiots cup of tea!)

    All the best for the future!

    Amit

    November 14, 2013 at 2:55 am

  31. Indians are assholes, irrespective of the country they live in. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdnmYSG5IWU

    nullinterface

    November 14, 2013 at 2:58 am

    • Most Indians* , not all ^_^

      ImaNinjaww

      November 14, 2013 at 8:56 am

  32. what non sense? since when A group of girls started representing whole India?
    just think first and then use social media to spread your words.
    If he got smacked in one show… that does not mean he always will be.. and its a SHOW… some will like it others may not. Just deal with it.
    and move on.. Dont cry like a baby.

    Lokesh

    November 14, 2013 at 3:31 am

    • “since when A group of girls started representing whole India?”

      Since the day a standup comedian’s personal story (with all fingers pointed at myself) started being perceived as an insult to ALL Indians and IITians.

      The Single Screen

      November 14, 2013 at 3:40 am

      • What credibility do those few sad-lifers have to speak on behalf of the entire Indian population? Since when did we elect them as the voice of the country? They are an insult to ALL Indians and IITians for all I care. And since we seem to just assume authority now a days, I authorize them to jump off an effin bridge.

        TapWater

        November 14, 2013 at 7:34 am

    • No Do not move on. You can choose to move on when things are personal and they affect you alone. This needs to be set straight, not just because you were wronged, but because your entire profession was wronged.
      What is the point of bringing in a stand-up comedian if you have no taste for comedy? These people should be taught a lesson. You owe this to your profession, and give the fact that you chose such an unconventional profession, I am sure you believe in it enough to pursue this case.
      For some odd reason, I see that people higher up are usually disconnected from reality, extremely conservative and have zero tolerance for anything they do not understand and most importantly,they have no sense of humour. India does not get humour, unless it comes from Kapil. Then they get it.
      This is what is making the country dumb. Everyone is pursuing engineering, no one knows shit about literature or philosophy, rendering them incapable of brainstorming, thinking or innovating out of the box, and they are comfortable deriving entertainment from mindless things like Chennai Express and Bodyguard, but no one cares about Ship of Theseus. This media feeds the country dumbness day in, day out and everyone enjoys being dumb.

      Chinmoy Kanjilal

      November 14, 2013 at 11:49 am

  33. Let me say one thing- this lot of people who are trying to be Big Indians travel abroad and talk all possible shit about India and its culture. I am living in Germany since 9 years and am into corporate training, know very well how fake this class of people can be.You keep up your self esteem….write a Thankyou note for such a great lesson. and donate your fees to them for buying nakli Indian ness !

    Ruchi Rana

    November 14, 2013 at 3:56 am

  34. calling a obscenity spewing comedian for a corporate show and expecting him to be all goody two shoes is stupid on the part of BOI media. hire a comedian that’s more like what they want instead of trying to change the act of a comedian who swears to make it funny. I’m pretty sure only the Indian people got annoyed….. I’m not even a comedian and people who have no experience with foreigners have asked me to mind what i say. though the listener enjoys it and has a good 5 minute laugh, my revrse-and-literal-translating countrymen didn’t. he got pissed but he didn’t even get the joke lol. the foreigner had to explain to him what the joke meant. he then nagged that my words had double meanings……. it’s a joke man! if you don’t get it, see if others do. if they do, laugh and move on. humor has left this country as have art, originality and patience.

    adz

    November 14, 2013 at 3:57 am

    • This has been coming up again and again so will clarify. Talking about ‘condoms’ is obscene? How? The joke was not even close to being obscene or vulgar. The joke was not structured around any aspect of a condom’s property/shape/size/usage.

      It was an observation on how condom ads used to make us uncomfortable as kids, while watching them with our parents in the room. And that’s the saddest/surreal part for me. I didn’t even do my edgier stuff – nowhere close to the stuff that makes people uncomfortable (again, without using gaalis/f-words), and still got told that it was OBSCENE. Just because it hurt the idea of ‘patriotism display in front of foreigners’ for some Indians. That, for me is the core issue. Indians behaving a certain way to not be shown in ‘bad light’ in front of white people. Downright horrible inferiority complex.

      The Single Screen

      November 14, 2013 at 8:56 am

  35. Dude, People here are supporting you, i really dont understand why? You like comedy, we all do. You look up to Russel Peters or others who are always or most of the time disrespectful.

    Humor can be found in many ways, it shouldn’t be always making fun of ourself or our people or our country for that matter. You can be more creative with your writing and dont follow footsteps of other just bevause they are famous doesnt always mean they are right.Well you are joking yourself and laughing at it, i don’t think that’s good.

    If your audience is not happy , believe me that you weren’t funny at all.

    You should understand the limits and others sentiments attached to people or country, dont judge everyone with your thoughts.

    Being an IITian is not a brand and dont be a poster boy.

    Kashif Ahmad

    November 14, 2013 at 5:21 am

    • Butt-hurt much?

      TapWater

      November 14, 2013 at 7:29 am

    • do people tell u how to do ur job?

      Gavin Rego

      November 14, 2013 at 8:51 am

    • U must be the IIT bitch , who approached him .. -_-”

      ImaNinjaww

      November 14, 2013 at 8:53 am

    • True, you have to know your audience. It can happen to anyone, but they should have paid you, even if you didn’t entertain. Some standup comedians got even worse then what you faced, so grow up and suck it up, deal with it. You cannot force people to follow your ideology, as I said, know your audience.

      Not an IITian

      November 14, 2013 at 10:19 am

    • If you can’t laugh at yourself, you can’t say you have a sense of humour.

      Neeraj Rao

      November 14, 2013 at 3:40 pm

  36. why dont you approach the consulate directly. it was their programme. they might consider intervening.

    Debnandini

    November 14, 2013 at 6:06 am

  37. Yukkk………u know sumtym one hav no such proof to prove dem ….dat dey r bigesst assholes……n we didn’t know how to prove dey r saying is totally invain!

    kritika

    November 14, 2013 at 6:08 am

  38. I hold no problem with anything above..
    but bro get something new for the comedy show.. bored of these copied joke of yours..

    Wish_rdb

    November 14, 2013 at 6:14 am

  39. Sorry to hear this Varun. Kya chutyapa hain? Tereko mimicry aati kya? Guess corporate events mein sirf yehi chalta aaj kal.

    om

    November 14, 2013 at 6:55 am

  40. We Indians are so emotional about everything. It reminds me about that Mallika thing, when she called India a regressive country for women at Cannes. Indian media went crazy. Like hello, why getting so beefed up media? Why can’t you face the truth and shut up?

    R

    November 14, 2013 at 7:16 am

  41. ok,, wat happened with you was wrong. you shud hv been briefed first and the audience shud hv been more tolerant.
    bt i hv to say, some of these standup comedians end up making some really really nasty jokes. about everything. Indians, religions, god, poor people, people of lower casts, people with disability and what not.

    and all they give is ‘freedom of speech’ shit in defense. ! its time your community also needs to do some introspection varun.

    Sujata Sinha

    November 14, 2013 at 7:20 am

  42. “I feel like laughing and crying at such immense stupidity of human species even after millions of years of so-called evolution.” – Right on brother! Sucks that people with dead sense of humor with extremely overused phases like “Tum jaison ko goli maar deni chaahiye!” and the title of the article feels everyone who was born in India should share their tasteless way of life, and whats up with the sexism like ‘Talking about such things in private is ok. But in front of so many girls…it was not done.’ what girls are made of unicorn semen?
    Anyway, not getting paid/compensated for it at all is just a next level low. If nationality is to be blamed for this, then YES! Mujhe sharam aati hai khud ko Indian bolte huye.

    TapWater

    November 14, 2013 at 7:28 am

  43. It happens only in India

    Mayur Patil

    November 14, 2013 at 7:29 am

  44. I’m an amateur stand up comic. Just this Monday at an open mic at Canvas Laugh Factory I glanced at their wall of fame hoping to end up there someday myself. This post was a valuable lesson. Cheers!

    notsolittlejohnny

    November 14, 2013 at 8:16 am

  45. Paisa bachane ke liye kuch bhi drama karenge ye log .. and the jokes were funny , i dint find them racist in any way .. after all its comedy.. OMG !!

    Gavin Rego

    November 14, 2013 at 8:49 am

  46. It’s all right. Just upload the video.

    KoKo

    November 14, 2013 at 9:33 am

  47. अबे ऐसी भी क्या पैसे कि कमी । दस गालियां सुना के आना चाहिए था ऐसे अकल से पैदल ‘इंडियन’ लोगोँ को । मैंने दिल्ली में कई पार्टीयोँ में देखा है कि वो एक १० लोगोँ के एंटरटेनमेंट ग्रुप को बुलाते हैं जो कपडे बदल बदल के भांगड़ा भी करते हैं और भरतनाट्यम भी । शायद वो देख कर उनकी भारतीयता वाली गुफ्फेदार दुम गर्व से ऊंची होती होगी ।

    DontNoodles

    November 14, 2013 at 9:50 am

    • Hahahahah! Best comment. :)

      The Single Screen

      November 14, 2013 at 11:18 am

      • Aur nahi to kya. Stupid imbeciles – that is what they are. And like I posted on reddit, as soon as they asked you to wind up, you should have broken into the song “जब ज़ीरो भारत ने… है प्रीत जहाँ की रीत सदा.… ” and asked them to sing along.

        And also like someone posted, we would love to see you incorporate into one of your gigs. That will ridicule them into understanding that unless you can laugh about your own inadequacies and shortcomings, we have no right to laugh at others’ expense. Heck you don’t have the right to laugh at all.

        DontNoodles

        November 14, 2013 at 5:19 pm

  48. thats true brother, most of us are like that, i dont know when the hell we will grow up?, i wish u get ur payment from these idiots !!!

    brijesh

    November 14, 2013 at 10:02 am

  49. Doomsday predictors and Zeitgeist (the movie series) would have us believe that the world is undoubtedly ruled by the Empire – the Corporations, the cronies. If these are the corporates they are were referring to – forgive me comic – but their jokes’ funnier..
    Seems like a flip on the practice of Emperors (from empire) employing court jesters.. Here the jokers had employed the Emperor (of the bargain)..
    Again, sorry to say, but the JOKES ON YOU.

    Scratching the itch
    The Single Screen, reply privately about compiling an awesome winning ‘apology’ letter (terms like hereto and forthwith.. lets get all corporate on them ‘bitches). Their demand is an apology notwithstanding.

    Arsch-ed

    November 14, 2013 at 10:03 am

  50. Get the job done and then come up with the most absurd reasons to not pay – this is the mantra most Indians live by.

    Innko sharam aani chahiye. Padhe likhe anpadh x(

    Shakun

    November 14, 2013 at 10:06 am

  51. what was the event for ? maybe we can boycott THEM! :). but to be honest, it is a basic double standard mindset by our people. They will laugh like chutiyas when someone like Russel Peters says the same in a far more risque manner but when it is homebrewed by our local talent, it is frowned upon.
    i thought your jokes were funny, keep it coming.

    just remember what Richard Pryor once said to Eddie Murphy (he was upset when Bill Cosby criticized him),

    “Whatever the fuck make the people laugh, say that shit. Do the people laugh when you say what you say?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “Do you get paid?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “Well, tell Bill I said have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Jello pudding-eating motherfucker.”

    Shyam

    November 14, 2013 at 10:07 am

  52. this is a ritual of most event companies everywhere in india, they dont pay advance, and find a loophole, not to pay ur dues.

    yatin sangoi

    November 14, 2013 at 10:16 am

  53. Bunch of Num-nuts they are! On a positive note: there are Indians who’ll still genuinely laugh at your jokes and not send you death-threats after.

    Lone Trekker

    November 14, 2013 at 10:22 am

  54. Your content is awesome … you’re obviously upset over a bad experience but that seriously shouldn’t stop you from getting ‘actual’ stand up gigs …

    Akshay

    November 14, 2013 at 10:33 am

  55. That’s one bad day you had man…
    Hey but on the flipside… this just gives you more golden material to create jokes on :) :)

    Abhishek

    November 14, 2013 at 10:34 am

  56. Sue them..

    ananritade

    November 14, 2013 at 10:38 am

    • my 2 cents :

      I am sure the corporates wanted to get CLICKED with “Kapil Sharma” when he sent his Invoice they all went “Itna paisa kaun dega” and must have asked “any comedian ko le aao” our good friend got stuck in the classic game or expectations and glitter with no sense or respect to the Genre of Stand Up comedy FOR ADULTS [hope this was not a family affair with Underage kids ]

      Lemme just go ahead and share this link ……..
      ‘How i wish or rather when will people start respecting others point of view’ irrespective of agreeing or disagreeing to it…

      sanketadhikari

      November 14, 2013 at 11:01 am

  57. See my FB post. Have tagged BOI Media. If you get your money now, you are welcome! If not, I at least got huge ya-ya doing it. Am a big fan of stand-up!!

    Amrita Joneja

    November 14, 2013 at 10:50 am

  58. I liked some of your jokes & whatever reaction you got from the corporate moral police were uncalled for. :(

    However, I felt the masturbation joke, being funny, was out of place. Those foreigner invitees had little context about a life at IIT. The same joke at an IIT function would have got you a cheer!

    Just saying my feedback to you :)

    Prasad

    November 14, 2013 at 10:55 am

  59. germans & indians??…u just got stuck wid a bad crowd man

    prashenka

    November 14, 2013 at 10:59 am

    • If the Swedish delegation was there it would have completed the no-laugh circle.

      another old bugger

      November 14, 2013 at 1:36 pm

      • yes…the joke wud’ve been on him…why wud he even try?…dat wud b funny…n ironic

        prashenka

        November 14, 2013 at 8:31 pm

  60. imagine these idiots seeing Louis CK. Most Indian’s suck at laughing at themselves and the inferiority complex most have in front of foreigners is just fucking pathetic. I feel for you brother.

    sandeep saini

    November 14, 2013 at 11:06 am

  61. Har Shaakh Pe Ullu Baitha hai… Anjame Gulistaan Kya hoga??? Jab ek Hi Ullu Kaafi hai…. Barbaade Gulistaan Karne ko.

    Dude, We indians are not mature to laugh on ourselves. We are Hippocrates and love to live in some non existing air. Sharam aati hai to see such people. Carry on with like minded people only

    Sumit Shah

    November 14, 2013 at 11:08 am

  62. The typical double standards of an Indian society…..leaving aside the oldies i expected the IITian atleast to have some sense of humour……you certainly do deserve your payment…..

    trishna singh

    November 14, 2013 at 11:17 am

  63. The BOI guys need to be sent a legal notice for payment. Please at the very least do that. I am sure you’ll find a lawyer who will volunteer to do it for free. And of course spread the word.

    Vinay Aravind

    November 14, 2013 at 11:21 am

  64. Wow dude, grow up. Be a professional – a little bit of research and prep on what your client wants before the gig is expected from anybody who claims to be a non-amateur.

    No seriously, If I was a prospective client, I would be running away right now. I may not be up to your standards and you might end up bitching about me on your blog.

    And about not getting paid, please bad credit is a problem faced by every small business, you are not alone. Its truly unfortunate, but not end of the world.

    Those people who threatened you and misbehaved with you after the gig, they were truly despicable, I agree. Make a list of folks you want ultimate revenge with and put their names on top of the list.

    Saket Selot

    November 14, 2013 at 11:22 am

    • wow dude….what was unprofessional in what he said and did? if you read carefully he did as asked. You cant expect a stand up comedian to do santa banta jokes. and its you who should do your research on the act you want.

      Its not like Varun said its the end of the world for him but he has every right to talk about this shitty experience.

      sandeep saini

      November 14, 2013 at 11:32 am

      • Nope, the thing is, one might think that a stand-up comic would not give a rats ass about what people think of them, or what people say to them. They make a living out of making fun of “some” people to entertain some other folks after all.

        Saket Selot

        November 14, 2013 at 1:07 pm

    • Am i surprised you have a rediffmail account? No. :)

      The Single Screen

      November 14, 2013 at 11:53 am

      • Yes, it is my “spam” account.

        Saket Selot

        November 14, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    • He’s expecting to be paid for a job that he’s done. That is minimum expectation of being a professional.

      What do you expect him to do? Provide a fucking blow job for the opportunity to work?

      If I did a gig for someone and bitch didn’t pay me I’d track him down and beat his brown ass.

      What the fuck is wrong with you fuckers? Miss being a slave to the white master? Bitch.

      another old bugger

      November 14, 2013 at 1:43 pm

  65. “Speaking dirty infront of girls” , that cracked me up !
    I guess according to the audience , Indian girls are thumb-sucking infants who consider their boobs to be two humongous mosquito bites and know nothing about anything, and should know nothing !
    Well, i would only like to say ,”Welcome to India, my brother” , you cannot throw a stone in India without hitting atleast a thousand butthurt prudes. And the best part, they refer this assholeness as ‘being a grown up’ and ‘mature’. Mature my ass if you cannot handle a joke. I wonder what kind of a hypocrite society calls people like you, a shame as an Indian, while they show pornstars and other nagging bitches in ‘family shows’ like Big Boss. Well if you see, a butthurt audience and a comedian are totally dependent upon each other, just like batman and joker or sherlock and moriarty etc. The more they get butthurt , they more you like to offend them.
    Well, talking about this ‘hamara-samay-kalyug’ kind of attitude of these 20th century Indians,who have passed on their traits to their 21st century children, either of them have literally zero knowledge about their culture, while they claim to protect it by their so called bandwagon traditions, this attitude could only be changed either in time, in like a 100 years, if they change their mindset gradually or someone specifically nukes them or if a lot of immigrants just pour in, bringing in their cultural views with them !

    Amlan Kumar

    November 14, 2013 at 11:26 am

  66. I’m really sorry you went through this. I’m even sorrier about the people who think you (a) didn’t do your homework, (b) you were actually offensive, and (c) that you should just chalk this up to one of Life’s Little Lessons.

    If you don’t know what a stand-up comedian is like, don’t hire him. If you find certain topics “offensive”, write your own script and hire someone explicitly to read it out. I’ve shared this post online and I hope you manage to get an apology (which is pretty damn unlikely) and your money, since whether they liked you or not, it’s your money and you earned it. I also don’t understand why commenters are saying things like “Dude maybe you weren’t funny” because that isn’t the point of this at all.

    Good luck.

    MT

    November 14, 2013 at 11:34 am

  67. Actually its the complex of English speaking Hinglandian AkA gora sahab in brown shell …. tau in haryana , bhau in maharastra … mota bhai in gujrat , dada in bengal … etc has no such complex about their driving skills…

    manu

    November 14, 2013 at 11:36 am

  68. Did you get your payment??

    Karishma

    November 14, 2013 at 11:46 am

  69. boss, ye heeraman kaun hai :) seriously though, this sucks but i enjoyed reading this and in a perverse way its kinda cool you went through it, the story is worth more than 30k.

    getting screwed by clients in India is a rite of passage. you are now a man my son.

    Gaurav (@gauravgjain)

    November 14, 2013 at 11:50 am

  70. Indians honk, yes. Indians masturbate, yes. What Indians don’t have is the balls to accept that they do all this. So, BOI media can go take a hike.

    Amazing how we can’t polish our manners but take to task anyone who points that out. This country is full of mannerless people. We pee on roads, like dogs. We spit. We honk. But anyone who points it to us, we want to pull out a gun and shoot them. Is this manners? No. In my dictionary this is hypocrisy. When you can’t culture yourself you kill those who show you the mirror. Sad.

    Just so you know, BOI media, you’re hypocrites.

    bookhad

    November 14, 2013 at 11:51 am

    • pretty right.
      Glad! if these are truly your own views :)

      yuvraj

      November 15, 2013 at 8:24 pm

  71. Horrible! I used to think that most of the intolerant people are people in smaller towns, the same ones who get movies and songs banned for apparently “offensive” things. Your experience just shows that it’s only a small segment of Indians (irrespective of where they live and what they do for a living) who can appreciate jokes and have a sense of humour and can laugh at themselves. Sad. No wonder Indians are the butt of jokes in comedy shows everywhere – it’s always more fun teasing a person who gets affected by it and lives in denial :D

    You’re right, stick to gigs where people who have a sense of humour voluntarily come and watch/participate.

    Radhika

    November 14, 2013 at 11:52 am

  72. an unfortunate incident

    interesting series of events, thoughts and most importantly how you are converting a negative into a positive :)

    what will really get the crowd going is if you can somehow post the video link, will be fair too

    Duke

    November 14, 2013 at 11:57 am

  73. Dude! u r cool! and this ought to happen, you should have asked old gags if they never masturbated in life!

    My support, The German Consulate should read this!

    Naveen Mudunuru

    November 14, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    • I think those old buggers were sucking each others dicks instead of masturbating. Which is why they might have been upset.

      another old bugger

      November 14, 2013 at 1:21 pm

  74. Hi there, first of all I am sorry for the mental trauma and allegations (from the so called TYPICAL Indians) that you faced, however I feel this should have been targeted to the more corporate (rather than a single BOI) and it should have not been a cribbing and asking for ‘my money’ types. It would have been more purposeful had it been seen as an encounter with ‘fake’ Indians.

    P.S. I too have shared it, and may you get your dues.

    dec2006

    November 14, 2013 at 12:24 pm

  75. dude haven’t been to any of your shows since I live in Delhi! But you rock! awesome material… from whatever little I can see and love this write up… the pomposity of the upper middle class Indian is staggering. Sometimes watching and listening to these corporate types seems like they are spoofing themselves! honestly – they would be so so amusing, if their hands didn’t hold the pen that signs the cheque! have written for corporate AVs… so I know your pain!
    BTW the lady was offended with the IIT quip because you made a gender biased statement and spoke about men only… or perhaps you made the fairer gender feel redundant – you are cruel! sharam nahi aati bina hypocrisy seekhy khud ko Indian bolte ho!! :)
    More power to you and your way of thinking. trust your talent – you’ll find a way to earn despite shunning the crapy-corpies eventually!

    sehba

    November 14, 2013 at 12:28 pm

  76. You should write to the client directly if you don’t get paid. It works. I’m willing to bet that they’ve already taken the money from the client. I run an event company. I know how they operate!

    VN

    November 14, 2013 at 12:30 pm

  77. so sorry that this happened to you. when the comedy store first opened it was such a pleasure that everyone could laugh at themselves and laugh at things quintessentially Indian as opposed to taking things personally. Sad that its a very very small minority that has the ability to see the lighter side of things. Boo BOI. hope they pay up and adequately compensate you and that you never have to go through something like this every again.

    Anonymous

    November 14, 2013 at 12:30 pm

  78. Varun,

    I have the utmost respect for you and your craft. GoW, Jai Hind Show, Prague, your NFDC script selection (to which I am very very much looking forward to), your routine write ups on MFC are all ample examples of your genius and your sensitivity towards such issues.

    You are the last person I would ever think about if someone told me of a stand-up making fun of someone’s religious sentiments (The act of killing write-up only is enough to show your sensitive side).

    Stand-up comedy is not everyone’s cup of tea. One needs to be initiated to it. Normally self-deprecating humour is not something Indians are accustomed to culturally.

    Thank God these ‘offended’ people will never get a chance to be an audience of Carlin, Louis CK or Bill Burr. I dont know, they might even shoot them on the spot, if they can threaten you after this incident.

    Commenting here just so that you know that there are people like me for whom you are an inspiration and though you may not be aware of our existence, we are very much there, seeing you doing your thing from a distance and appreciating it in our very own ways.

    Cash crunch ho ya aise assholes se paala pade, I have only this to say to you …

    Jo bhi wrong-va hai usay,
    Set right-va karo ji,
    Naahi loosiye ji hope,
    Thoda fight-va karo ji..
    Moora… :)

    Avinash

    November 14, 2013 at 12:36 pm

  79. The other day i was watching MasterChef Australia…They were showing a recipe which involved cooking with pork…The chef on the show was saying “Pig Meat” instead of pork…The channel had actually beeped the work “pig” cause apparently it is offensive to people…This is what has India come to…This is how intolerant we have become…and it doesn’t seem to be going down any time soon…the intolerance is just rising…

    And these are the people who ask questions like “Aren’t you ashamed at calling yourself an Indian.?”…

    I don’t know whether i am ashamed at being/calling myself an Indian or not…People who get offended by the word “Pig” should be ashamed of calling themselves Human and so goes with all of you who don’t sympathize with the poor guy here…

    ManuG

    November 14, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    • Given there are so many comments above mine i don’t think it would ever get read but if it does, i would say given the fact that you are from an IIT and hopefully not ropar which is technically not IIT, you should have the commonsense of knowing your audience before. If you were thinking folks will respect since you are an IITian cum comedian, guess what no one gives a shit. Your humor seems like what russel peters does, the german/foreign audience may not have been long in india, so why crack indian jokes. And corporate is stingy, you could use a totally independent genre of jokes like sports, or the west rather than being the stereotypical comedian. Go out go abroad and see the world, it will do good to you.

      anirudh

      November 14, 2013 at 12:55 pm

  80. What the fuck. Oh shit I used the f word.

    Salil

    November 14, 2013 at 12:44 pm

  81. I am also a part of one of the renowned corporate sector…and due to some financial and personal constraints I am stucked into it…

    Yes all the Big heads of corporates are fake ….they are a part of all the filthy actions if our society..but escape by not acknowledging it also as a part of fun..

    They only believe in actions of doing all dirty things..They don’t go for masturbating..but they dupe their families by sleeping with their juniors…luring them for a petty promotion…

    And those juniors who lick their ass and dick can never open their mouth to speak ou

    Tanuka

    November 14, 2013 at 12:49 pm

  82. Hi, I think along with this blog sharing/passing; you must do a video gig on the same episode and circulate and ask them to compensate. That reminds of me of one video fyi http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GT7LNIPeMis

    Important : subjective…but 30K is not a big!

    Geeta Vaidyaanthan

    November 14, 2013 at 12:52 pm

  83. Boss, I dont know what is wrong with Indians, the moment traffic light changes to Green they will honk !
    Sometimes I deliberately dont move and reply on being asked why I am not moving- ” Boss meri destination yehi hai, I dont wanna land on the moon like you -ass hole”
    I mean people just cant wait, saalo itni hee jaldi thi to ghar se jaldi nikalna chaahiye tha na!
    I guess JALDI is the reason we are going through population crisis here!

    abhishek

    November 14, 2013 at 12:53 pm

  84. clarifying 30K is not big money for a corporate to pay..incase it was not clear in the earlier comment.

    Geeta Vaidyaanthan

    November 14, 2013 at 12:53 pm

  85. That supposed IIT girl makes me sad about IITian’s

    abhimanyu

    November 14, 2013 at 12:59 pm

  86. I am a part of a renowned corporate sector..and I feel its full of escapist, hypocrites…who fakes out of their honesty and get business to our countries. We are duped severely by their hypocrisy..
    Of course, they don’t believe in masturbate..because they would prefer to sleep with their juniors luring them for promotions and cheat on their families…
    The big heads are now practised in making the juniors work out hard but not pay them up to the mark.
    And to the juniors please stop licking their dick and ass and open up your mouth till you succumb.
    Corporates are full of filths and they put up a mask…so please open all our eyes and scream out stop now !!
    I wish I could slap and pee on my seniors face show them the middle finger and could get myself unshackled…
    CORPORATES SUX

    Tanuka

    November 14, 2013 at 1:02 pm

    • Then grow some balls or an ovary and do it. Life is short.

      Do you want to be on your deathbed thinking, shit I spent my whole life working for a miserable motherfucker? Tell him to go fuck himself if he’s bullying you.

      another old bugger

      November 14, 2013 at 1:29 pm

  87. can you get and share the video by any chance ?

    saumitra

    November 14, 2013 at 1:02 pm

  88. To all those claiming that a few group of people do not represent the whole Indian community, you are right, but this happened to be a group of people who obviously did not know what they were asking for, people who have never been to a gig before. If they had, they would know what to expect. Their own ignorance has caused this. I must say most stand up comedians do cross the line when it comes to being vulgar and inappropriate, however that is something the event managers should know and accordingly brief the comic. Also, do you ask Guns and Roses to play for you but only play jazz? The stupidity of these people astounds me. You may provide a performer with guidelines but if you are SO strict about them then maybe you need to be more descriptive about those guidelines. Not to mention, if you do not have a sense of humor, don’t hire a comedian!

    They may not represent or speak for all Indians but they cannot interfere with a comedians jokes saying they are untrue….they are jokes..they are based on stereotypes, a little bit of fiction and sometimes taboo topics. And supporting those people and their opinions means that you don’t quite understand comedy either. Comedians also exaggerate, that is what it’s about. People are judging him as if what he’s saying is the truth and he should be hung for revealing such secrets.

    get a grip!

    10against1

    November 14, 2013 at 1:03 pm

    • Since you brought that up, firstly Guns n’ Roses wouldn’t accept an invitation to play before a audience that won’t get their music simply because they are in a severe cash crunch. And if they do, they wouldn’t be tone-deaf to the context they are playing in, then perform loud glam rock, and then blame the audience for finding it jarring. That’s plain arrogance. If you knowingly accept a gig out of desperation and outside of your creative values, you lose the right to crib about the loss of creative license. Then it’s just something you are doing out of need over creative output, and so you better solve the problem of the guy who’s paying you.

      AP

      November 14, 2013 at 1:31 pm

      • You thrive on technicalities, good for you. fact remains, someone with a cash crunch would take a job they are offered. sometimes you can’t afford to be picky. but that doesn’t mean that you are subjected to ridicule, insults and blatant threats to your life because you were not briefed properly. THEY asked for HIM. not the other way around! he got an opportunity so he took it. unless they were going to write his set themselves, they should have been more specific or a little more open minded. It’s entertainment, it has always been subjective. the foreigners seemed to enjoy it and understand it. everyone has different taste in comedy. some prefer slap stick some prefer the stuff like on the great Indian laughter challenge some prefer slightly more accomplished comedians. You don’t hire one because you want to and then refuse to pay because it’s not to your liking. and i mean this in this particular context. If BOI approached him, BOI should pay, if the event company approached him, they should pay. whatever it is, they should have known what they were asking for. especially since the girl had seen his youtube videos. Unaccaeptable behaviour!

        10against1

        November 14, 2013 at 2:48 pm

        • “because you were not briefed properly.” I didn’t know that it takes a brief for it to occur to one that juvenile masturbation jokes don’t fit into a high brow event. I thought that was common sense. Maybe the world is on a spoon-fed trip and I am out of touch.

          AP

          November 14, 2013 at 4:03 pm

  89. I feel for you. Your set was witty and funny, I thought. Too bad on those folks that didn’t get the humor, and lame act by BOI Media. Maybe you should have pointed out it’s a comic routine you are about to do?

    Archana

    November 14, 2013 at 1:06 pm

  90. There is this layer of standup comedians in the country who live off the porn/sex/life of engineers/Facebook and related themes, but I wonder if they should build a separate set for an adult audience and convert that market successfully instead of labelling corporate events as bad in general. For this particular gig, the organisers should have hired someone like Gursimran Khamba maybe, who can handle political/business satire well, and would perhaps entertain a bunch of 40+ year olds well. Frankly, a lot of the engineer/sex themed standup in India is plain downmarket and predictable (I don’t know about the blog writer as I haven’t seen his show, but the aforementioned jokes in the blog fall in the same category) and draws from really tired and regressive observations. This might be funny yo the college crowd, but by the time you are in your 30s, you have cracked these jokes among your buddies enough number of times to find them funny anymore. I can easily imagine a well-educated and older Indian audience squirming in their seats to those jokes and an international audience not getting the context. In my opinion, it was the organisers’ lack of judgment to invite an artist despite his previous body of work, and having been invited, the artist’s lack of judgment to not think through the event and its audience well and dumping the only set of themes he could handle on the audience, like the hammer that sees the entire world as a nail.

    AP

    November 14, 2013 at 1:07 pm

    • 1st see what grover does n then jump to conclusions….he is as far removed from the typical setroytype jokes as any 1 can be

      rohan

      November 14, 2013 at 9:22 pm

      • I have seen this, but I believe this is not an example of the live standup comedy being talked about in the blog. This is like defending Sonu Nigam’s acting skills by showing an example of his singing.

        AP

        November 15, 2013 at 5:17 pm

  91. I voiced my opinion on this earlier but some of the comments are interesting here.

    This should not be about the corporate sector, india, Indians or anything other than the fact that one entertainment firm called BOI media is out of its league in the common sense stakes.

    Everything else is fairly irrelevant.

    Amit

    November 14, 2013 at 1:09 pm

  92. Guess me Indians are still living under the rock and get offended by sensible jokes cracked with full honesty. Funny how some people find such jokes offending.

    If they wanted a sensible corporate jig, they shouldn’t have hired a stand up comedian. PERIOD!

    Nishant

    November 14, 2013 at 1:17 pm

  93. These people Obviously haven’t gotten LAID in a while. That’s the only explanation I can think of. :)

    Asha

    November 14, 2013 at 1:20 pm

  94. The guys from BOI media should be ashamed of themselves. they have seen your act on youtube and know what you do and even then hire you and try to stifle you and then cry hoarse about it! Morons, these are the cultural police that we live with today, if they get a chance, they would start something like the saudis or iranians. Shame on you guys

    Mohan

    November 14, 2013 at 1:22 pm

  95. No stand-up comic should have to endure corporate India. Their sense of humor is far more twisted than anyone’s imagination. I was once a corporate monkey wearing the suit and quit when I realized that in the name of corporate culture, having a sense of humor when among more than 5 of your fellow corporate monkeys are around is a taboo.
    Stand up comedy is still in a very early stage in India and will take time for everyone to get it. But yes, no comic should have to do ANY corporate gigs (especially ones that have such bad pay masters). I’m guessing you would have seen the HCL recruitment standards. They choose someone for a position while on campus recruitment and send an offer 3 years later!

    Honk! HONK!

    Badrinarayanan R.K

    November 14, 2013 at 1:24 pm

  96. What you faced is a generic problem with almost all event management guys and so-called corporate professionals. They know nothing but are sure that they know everything in all domains. And let me assure you that you are not the only who is suffering from these junkies and yours is not only creative area that is terrorized by these guys. Unfortunately, these so-called managers of events, – for their own good & necessity – have hi-jacked creative / intellectual rights / ideas of all people (Creative / performing artistes as well as service providers) they hire. They have nothing to do with quality (in the real sense). Rather, they do not understand a bit of that. Bad thing is that their hypocrisy is resulting into way too bad events / performances and that is becoming a norm now. In reality, these are the guys who are presenting a dirty picture of India in front of the world through their deeds. Unfortunately, being structured and organised (add to that their nexus with middle management cadre from client side), they have become too influential. Sad but true.

    M.A.Ramesh

    November 14, 2013 at 1:33 pm

  97. well most indians lack a sense of humor, and dont know how to take a joke..

    Allshare.in

    November 14, 2013 at 1:35 pm

  98. And we get television ads every few minutes that say ” For the first time in history, India is watching the latest shows with America”

    Badrinarayanan R.K

    November 14, 2013 at 1:35 pm

  99. 30K is a little less for the humiliation you made the audience go through. You should charge more and humiliate these hypocrite so called Indian corporates even more. They are the biggest losers on the planet. These are the same guys who are loud and uncouth on flights out of India. These are the same middle aged idiots who stare at air hostesses and can’t control their alcohol.

    Well done, bro. Jo hota hai acche ke liye hota hai. Ye samajh le, 30K inki aukaat dikhane ke liye daan kar diye tuney. :)

    Arpan Mehra

    November 14, 2013 at 1:48 pm

  100. The Sad state of Hypocrisy in corporate prudes, this is not unknown. Sad they couldn’t enjoy it, their loss.

    Shiraj

    November 14, 2013 at 1:57 pm

  101. This is so crazy…We seriously have problem to accept things and laugh it out.

    fashiondrogue

    November 14, 2013 at 1:59 pm

  102. Honestly, you should forget about the 30k…..the whole situation is quite funny, but am laughing right now! The idiocy of the kind of crowd you had to “stand up” to is nothing short of a comedy in itself. Spreading the word around is good….however, expecting money to come out of it, i wonder…..this is India mere bhai, there are enough moral police around. At least one of the two participants has come away wiser….you. Lesson learnt, move on. Good luck in the future…as u stand wisened and funny as ever :)

    Kamalini

    November 14, 2013 at 2:00 pm

  103. dryogeshd

    November 14, 2013 at 2:02 pm

  104. Erratum: “….the whole situation is quite funny AND am laughing right now!” not ………but am laughing right now.

    Kamalini

    November 14, 2013 at 2:03 pm

  105. Ridiculous stuff!!
    Im a lawyer, if you need any help, do let me know :)

    LawyeringAround

    November 14, 2013 at 2:07 pm

  106. What more can you expect from people who use Fair and Lovely..
    As our PM might have said – Morons have the first right to be offended..

  107. […] if I don’t find logic behind it. This attitude doesn’t suit to those corporate giants. This may help elaborating my […]

    Why This not That. | Explore!

    November 14, 2013 at 2:29 pm

  108. Being a fellow IITian, it sucks to see that such things happen these days in India. I don’t think it is fair to generalize the corporate Indians but yes, this was all in all a cheap manipulation from the so called Indians present at your gig who questioned your Indianness. I am definitely never going to approach BOI for any corporate events for my company, and will be sending a strong note to my company’s marketing folks to make sure these assholes never get a single penny from my company, EVER!

    Woh do chutiya bandiyon ko wahin bolna tha, “I’m ashamed that idiots like you are making it to IITs these days”.

    Prashant G

    November 14, 2013 at 2:40 pm

  109. What were they expecting in a stand up comedy set.What kind of democracy we live in where we dont even have the right to express ourselves.Whatever you said is absolutely true and what harm there is in accepting the truth.That is the problem with our country

    Rouble Chaudhury

    November 14, 2013 at 2:45 pm

  110. Hey Dude

    Enjoyeee the day ………… You went to entertain them …. the jerks doesnot know how to be happy. A person who can laugh on himself neednot think much.

    om

    November 14, 2013 at 2:48 pm

  111. Someone suggested above that you should forget about 30 K, I would say not, these guys have to pay you and ‘issue you an apology’. Supporting this on Facebook.
    I have faced similar stupidity in my career too, when after discussing project plan and wasting your time, Indian companies would simply award the project to their ‘trusted’ company. Trusted being spineless. So much so that I stopped even trying to work with Indian companies.

    elearning consultant

    November 14, 2013 at 3:00 pm

  112. Feel sorry for your bad experience man, while I’m no comedian myself, I have seen such absurdity on numerous occasions and these shit heads are not limited to corporates and have no limit of age or location here. -__-

    The Nameless One

    November 14, 2013 at 3:08 pm

  113. Nothing good ever came out by telling jokes to Germans.

    Jitendra Singh Bisht

    November 14, 2013 at 3:12 pm

  114. Sorry about your experience. I hope the support of common peeps like us gets you the payment you rightfully deserve.

    jamimi

    November 14, 2013 at 3:14 pm

  115. Point one: Know your f audience …. the problem is they don’t get the jokes the right way…. I did a mixed satire / racist / whatever comedy within my company group (free of cost mind it :P) and ppl gave me a look as if I was anti human
    They want themselves to be in sync with. western world however cannot be broad minded or accept such things. Stupidity …. good luck for next time

    Abhijeet Sawant

    November 14, 2013 at 3:14 pm

  116. This is certainly not done. They should have known what they were in for when they asked for a stand up comedian. I mean what did they want. Jokes out of “101 clean jokes for kids”? We should boycott all BOI media events till they don’t repay him and apologize to HIM instead of it being the other way around

    Naman

    November 14, 2013 at 3:16 pm

  117. charging 30k for 15 mins , works out to 2k per hour , now that’s a steal, even scam , ‘tumko sharam nahi ati khudko Indian bolte hue’

    Heral

    November 14, 2013 at 3:33 pm

  118. They are totally using their holier-than-thou prudish “tobah tobah” reaction to scare you away & get out of paying you. Isn’t there formal recourse?

    bhavna

    November 14, 2013 at 3:34 pm

  119. Write to the event management association EEMA. And the client. You will get a reply and surely your money. BOI is an award winning event company. Surely, they should know what stand up comedy means.

    Martin Dsouza

    November 14, 2013 at 3:35 pm

  120. have asked folks at the german embassy to sort this out. thanks.

    debu

    November 14, 2013 at 3:39 pm

  121. you are such a fucking noob… any good stand up comedian should know that they are supposed to go on stage and start of with knock-knock jokes then blame the poor chicken for crossing the road and generally try and end the “festivities” with a good clean one liner e.g. “Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.”
    (googled that last joke as I didn’t remember any at the time of writing this)

    Kunal Gawande

    November 14, 2013 at 3:42 pm

  122. Maybe you should have replied,” Jo karna hai kar lo, main kisise nahi darta, Dadi se seekha hun”
    http://youtu.be/b1czCpDvimg?t=1m13s

    Indians love that shit :D

    Shariq Khan

    November 14, 2013 at 3:46 pm

  123. i wont say anything but even if u r from IIT then can you tell me what is the difference being IITian and non IITian. You didnt realize what ankita was trying to tell you. Being only from IIT or some tier 1 institute, you cant prove that you are the best. In the end, everything depends on your performance. Performance means, flexibility with respect to dynamic changes and come up with some new solution. Your profession is related with live performance and you should not give the logic based on being IITian.

    Mayank Batra

    November 14, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    • Am in a happy mood now hence will try to respond here.

      1. The issue is NOT that nobody laughed at my jokes. That happens once in a while with all comedians and we are prepared to take that in our stride.

      2. In a corporate show, where there is no proper stage, no sound system, no lights, and guests scattered around the room in small groups talking business deals worth crores/lakhs, a solo guy talking funny on the mike is like that piano instrumental being played in a shopping mall urinal. NOBODY gives a shit, and again, we are prepared for that.

      3. The issue IS – people coming to blows, abusing and insulting a standup comic for saying things that (apparently) offended them. That too when
      a) Things were NOT offensive at all.
      b) All the jokes were about MYSELF.

      4. The issue is an agency who had hired me, HAD NOT briefed me till 4:30 pm on the day of the show (show was at 7 pm) and then briefed me vaguely (all of which I stuck to), and then TURNED AROUND and said you won’t be paid because you offended people.

      5. The issue is Indians among the crowd were offended ONLY because there were foreigners present in the room. And they were offended because of this huge inferiority complex they have about their place in the world.

      6. And lastly, the issue is – I wish i *had* done my edgier stuff instead of the ‘safe stuff’ as told by the agency and client. (My space of humor is highly political and uncomfortable, and still they chose me for the gig AFTER watching my videos.) Wish I had shared my thoughts on the right-wing of Hinduism and Islam and Christianity and EARNED this ire. Not for doing small personal stories which i could never imagine would be taken out of context this way and hurt Indians.

      The Single Screen

      November 15, 2013 at 9:23 am

  124. Ek baar payment mil jae, toh saalon ko bolna k itna hi restricted, censored, or customized comedy chaiye toh, “Taarak mehta ka ulta Chasmaa” telecast hota hai Sab TV pe, woh dekh lia karen.

    Lekin ek minute.., usme bhi apne Jethalal Babita Ji ki khubsoorti pe latto hai ! ;P :D ;)

    Varun Jaiswal

    November 14, 2013 at 3:51 pm

  125. Sue them back those bitches.

    sokratus

    November 14, 2013 at 3:53 pm

  126. Indians do lack sense of humor. And expecting appreciation of sense of humor from ‘Indian corporates’ is a bit of an oxymoron really. They should not do stand up comedy shows to amuse their clients/peers/partners. They should safely stick to girls gyrating to item numbers. I wonder if they have ever googled or youtubed Russel Peters.

    ankita ghosh

    November 14, 2013 at 3:56 pm

  127. Well written. My sympathies but whats the point of just venting it here mate? In fact whats the point of venting anywhere except directly at the doors of the German Cosulate & BOI?? The people you were troubled by obviously don’t linger around places like this. Moreover, as a well educated (not just based on a piece of paper qualifying you) and aware Indian you should stand up to these people and ask for whats due to you. Whether they like it or not they requested your services which were rendered as per their terms and hence, payment is due.
    I’m sure you’ve typically evaluated it in your mind and given in saying ‘Oh well, I just wasted 15mins which comes down to about 10k’ thats fine. Well, its not fine. And its not about the money. Its about this impression that we sensible people have of ourselves on the rest of society where they think its ok to exploit us because they know we can’t be bothered to fight them. Its the same reason why these gangsters, hooligans, politicians & govt. servants are getting encouraged and ruining the civility our society. Its because we don’t stand up to them. Write to the german consulate, write to BOI and expose them through the various media so that it sets an example for others to follow and not give in to their charade.

    Good luck.

    TheStormbringer

    November 14, 2013 at 4:02 pm

  128. Humor and Germans, that is not going to end well. Tough Luck. You have my support!

    Rahul Singh Rana

    November 14, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    • I can definitely relate this to South Park, if you know what I mean :)

      Shivam

      November 14, 2013 at 4:20 pm

  129. Reading all the comments proves that the account u ve written is indeed true. We Indians will get offended by any damn thing in the world – as many readers here got, when someone called P C Sarkar a circus clown , because for all of them clown is the word they are used to hear from their teachers, bosses and friends.

    Recently i was back from my first uk trip and was just talkin to some office colleagues, how brilliant their public transport system is and that ladies drive the trains and buses and work in all night department stores equally with the men – and one lady in the group tells me, being an indian u should not praise the english, because ” ruled us for 200 years” and that ” Driving a bus or a train is such a derogatory job for a women and she would rather go job less:”

    I have deleted her from my office communicator contacts, since :D

    Amit Chourey

    November 14, 2013 at 4:22 pm

  130. I feel like these people in this ‘BOI Media and Entertainment Pvt Ltd.’ are mostly uneducated, non tolerant and ignorant stupid asshole…!! If they ever watch a Russel Peters stand up, they will kill him. They are like Comedy Terrorists !! (Do it our way or just stop). I feel pretty bad for you.

    Shivam

    November 14, 2013 at 4:24 pm

  131. “Inferiority complex of our fellow nationals is depressing.” – well said! It is appalling, actually!

    Navin Israni

    November 14, 2013 at 4:42 pm

  132. This is the problem with the majority of the population. They have no fucking sense of humour.
    I cannot believe they are reacting so badly. If they didn’t want stand-up comic, why’d they call on one?

    Would they behave the same way with Russell Peters I wonder. or maybe they don’t know who he is either.

    Sanjana

    November 14, 2013 at 4:44 pm

  133. I think you just got trolled by a real world NaMo Brigade. The ultra chauvinists jussssst cant take any criticism of India. If this blog does do enough rounds, they will be all over this place and you will end up with the the tag of being Congress agent somehow or the other

    Pranav Jagdish

    November 14, 2013 at 4:51 pm

    • Digvijay Singhji pranam. Do you see NaMo everywhere, after having seen RSS everywhere?

      akash

      November 14, 2013 at 8:34 pm

  134. Okey.. So, exactly why are you bickering and cry-ing here? If you do not know the audience, thats your fault! Next time, when Mr “All so smart IITian, who is ashamed to be an Indian” author kindly try at being a little thoughtful of the ethos of the audience. You may consider yourself at a much higher level than the rest of (undesirable) country mates, but who knows what the truth is actually!
    “So that was the only thing you remember about IIT. Huh! So did you update your CV with the number of times you masturbated.”
    “Well with your that kind of expertise you can dance for us on the table? Wudnt you? And we would leave you with the lady folks.. As you see we are not ‘gay’ ” .
    “Well wow, i always knew people go to worlds premium tech university like IIT to learn technology! Then I saw you! So when you graduated and went into business and, yada yada yada, and then the hotel receptionist asks you, ‘Sir, what are you here for, business or pleasure’. You give a gleaming smile with all teeth out and say ‘Well, a bit of both, but,mostly the second one’ “,
    Well, Mr Author that was an your kind of joke. Did not find it funny? Neither did your undesirable country mates!

    Rishi

    November 14, 2013 at 4:57 pm

    • Sorry he is from IIT and hence entitled to make juvenile jokes about masturbation and you HAVE to find it funny. You prudish corporate a-hole.

      akash

      November 14, 2013 at 8:33 pm

      • You know , if you come to think about it, it is so very sad.. In a world where everybody is searching more for smiles and happiness, we get a comedian, who angers his audience! And then bickers like a baby!
        “Oh! I found that funny, but that mean guy did not get it and pulled me down! World is so unfair!! Boo hoohoo.. Boo hoo hoo.. Boo”.
        What do you call a stand up comedian who was forced to shut up? A Ham!

        Rishi

        November 14, 2013 at 11:55 pm

        • Am in a happy mood now hence will try to respond here.

          1. The issue is NOT that nobody laughed at my jokes. That happens once in a while with all comedians and we are prepared to take that in our stride.

          2. In a corporate show, where there is no proper stage, no sound system, no lights, and guests scattered around the room in small groups talking business deals worth crores/lakhs, a solo guy talking funny on the mike is like that piano instrumental being played in a shopping mall urinal. NOBODY gives a shit, and again, we are prepared for that.

          3. The issue IS – people coming to blows, abusing and insulting a standup comic for saying things that (apparently) offended them. That too when
          a) Things were NOT offensive at all.
          b) All the jokes were about MYSELF.

          4. The issue is an agency who had hired me, HAD NOT briefed me till 4:30 pm on the day of the show (show was at 7 pm) and then briefed me vaguely (all of which I stuck to), and then TURNED AROUND and said you won’t be paid because you offended people.

          5. The issue is Indians among the crowd were offended ONLY because there were foreigners present in the room. And they were offended because of this huge inferiority complex they have about their place in the world.

          6. And lastly, the issue is – I wish i *had* done my edgier stuff instead of the ‘safe stuff’ as told by the agency and client. (My space of humor is highly political and uncomfortable, and still they chose me for the gig AFTER watching my videos.) Wish I had shared my thoughts on the right-wing of Hinduism and Islam and Christianity and EARNED this ire. Not for doing small personal stories which i could never imagine would be taken out of context this way and hurt Indians.

          The Single Screen

          November 15, 2013 at 9:20 am

  135. Context. Context. Context. Corporates only assemble in halls for ‘Town Halls’ and ‘All Hands’, and they will NOT laugh at a joke unless their CEO hands out a memo that confirms that it’s funny.

    Anyway, I loved what you put up here, and even if you watered it down, it’s really funny. Don’t let this get you down. You’re awesome!

    George

    November 14, 2013 at 5:09 pm

  136. only 5 times a day?? you bloody IITians are all airs and no balls. p.s. – I am an MBA ;)

    Adish

    November 14, 2013 at 5:15 pm

  137. Damn, I feel sorry for you. Some people really don’t get satire, especially those uptight corporate business types. What if they’d seen Russel Peters or any other indo-pak desi comedian.

  138. hey why don’t you compose a funny song or video on BOI like “united breaks guitar”.

    see if it goes viral and BOI will be licking ur ass … lol… sorry for the slang BOI :D

    asim

    November 14, 2013 at 5:24 pm

  139. Tujh jaiso ko to dekhte hi goli maar deni chahiye

    rahulbhardwaj

    November 14, 2013 at 5:26 pm

  140. Sorry pal – this WAS sacrilege.

    I cant really tell you what great suffering ANY corporate meet is – I feel suffocated. Every fricking guy has a brown nose up some bosses ass, and with all the schmoozing, the last thing you can expect is humour.

    ANY KIND OF HUMOUR, even children’s day, slapstick would kill the stuck-up tight asses.

    The best thing to do is gently refuse – the person you’d be doing the biggest favour to would be YOURSELF. The air would be infectious and you might become stuck up like the rest of us…

    RUN RUN THERE IS STILL TIME. THE MONEY IS NOT WORTH IT !!!

    Corporate sufferer

    November 14, 2013 at 5:56 pm

  141. I feel the event management company fucked up badly. If there was going to be a super sensitive crowd in attendance, they should never have called an edgy stand up comedian or maybe any stand up comedian for that matter. People getting so offended was just weird. Not sure what that was.

    Looking at what happened, and having worked in the corporate sector myself, my guess is that a joke on countries fighting for oil and a passing reference to people honking is about as “edgy” as you could have gone in this audience, considering it was at a consulate . Masturbation, Condom – can’t work.

    I’ll give you another example – I used to work for a company which was fairly international, and with a fairly “chill” and “broad minded” crowd. There was a visitor from NY and we were talking about Love Marriages, Arranged Marriages and Relationships in India. This conversation was practically near the “edginess” limit of people in a corporate setting, and some people were shifting somewhat uncomfortably in their seats.

    Gaurav

    November 14, 2013 at 6:00 pm

  142. Unfortunate thing.
    But when you know there are a few foreigners & outsiders as well, you must have cut down that script to something where none of the people get offended. Must have tried somethinh which amuses everyone.

    Were you actually trying to do a Russel Peters? :/

    Monit Rathore

    November 14, 2013 at 6:11 pm

  143. All cultures have their own messed up quirks. The problem with us is that we’re so desperate to please the world and we REALLY dont know how to take a joke. Why didnt they just put up a kathak performance or something instead. Idiots.

    Namrata

    November 14, 2013 at 6:17 pm

  144. Ah great! Now you go write a blog about it…..now foreigners will think Indians don’t have a sense of humour….seriously dude -’tujhe sharam nahin aati khud Jo Indian bolte huve?’

    Strangedays82

    November 14, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    • ” now foreigners will think………….”

      Do everything to appease the world, Khud ki samajh aor abhimaan to hai hi nahi.

      Niraj

      November 14, 2013 at 6:27 pm

  145. This is really sad! I mean they made you perform and then didn’t pay up also. Pathetic levels of intolerance gotta say!!

    Gunjan

    November 14, 2013 at 6:38 pm

  146. Well No country will make fun of their citizens in front of International delegates it is all about investor relations so you cant make such statements because every stage show will not have same audience specially with Europe Audience so we will have to respect however payment part is really sad & it depends on agreement. Be careful next time all the best … & things have changed ( Masturbate era is over) ;)

    Andy

    November 14, 2013 at 6:39 pm

    • Reallyyyy…so if that era is over now….which era is
      on currently and what do men do in the present era ……
      ??????

      Nick

      November 15, 2013 at 7:52 am

  147. The thing about being offense is, its always taken never given.

    Varun Jain

    November 14, 2013 at 6:39 pm

  148. Agree with u completely but allow me to laugh at those fools first :D
    INdians dont have the stomach for such humor.

    Chetan

    November 14, 2013 at 6:59 pm

  149. Actually I think you should also refuse to change the script. If they want maybe you can agree to share it – 2 mins before the show – but they cannot tell you what you can or cannot say. If people are going to be offended then don’t get a stand-up comedian anyway! Someone or the other will always be offended when a joke is made!

    Satish

    November 14, 2013 at 7:01 pm

  150. Well to sum up the event and the different reactions, i would like everyone to understand something.
    First of all the main culprit is BOI .. as they have no idea it seems, how a stand up comedian does his gigs. So in first place they shouldnt have hired you.
    Secondly you have a part to play here as well.. You are very intellegent and is up to date about the society. You should have had a bit of idea about what people in corporate meet usually expect. But u seem to have fallen from the sky ! In case of such doubts or un-briefed situation, always go for “feel good” words/statements.

    About the general views :
    1) Yes the word “condom” does create an uncomfortable atmosphere . Sad but true.. thats how the society is.. But that doesnt mean we need to whine about how bad are indians or how backward the society is. Every country/society has their own way of looking at things.. and yes things do change with time. So dont complain.

    2) Me being a part of the corporate world working in india, would say that yes, the corporate world is mostly “show” and have a lot of “do’s” and “dont’s” about how one should behave. The people individually may like your jokes when watching you with their friends, or alone maybe. But in most of the corporate atmosphere , this changes and the people expect the most formal talk. But this again is how the corporate life is mostly !! Know it, Accept it and be more prepared next time !

    Bottomline:
    Neither you have said something wrong, nor we should point out that the people are prude assholes and hang them for not taking your words as just a joke ! Its just that know what to speak and where.
    As long as you have to speak for 15 minutes and get money, think of it as a business and entertain with kindergarden jokes if thats what the audience wants to hear ! Surely you can sue the BOI people for not paying you but you cant put everything on how people react !

    Yes there are bad and good sides to being an indian, but i dont like to whine about it.
    I AM an indian.. I AM proud to be one.
    Also it doesn’t matter if anyone thinks otherwise about me.

    banerjee

    November 14, 2013 at 7:10 pm

    • Well said. This guy has no clue about the corporate environment. Goes there, makes off color jokes – they dont like it, so he calls them names and wants money.

      akash

      November 14, 2013 at 8:01 pm

    • Good show in the GD. Please join us for a final interview in the afternoon. ;-)

      lallu lal

      November 15, 2013 at 1:06 am

  151. Thank God! You did not talk about Sachin Tendulkar!

    Funny Side Up!

    November 14, 2013 at 7:20 pm

  152. Nav

    November 14, 2013 at 7:21 pm

  153. While I find the non payment of fees and threats ridiculous, I do feel that comics in India sometimes don’t judge their audience well. It seems to be a case of that here.

    Mt

    November 14, 2013 at 7:25 pm

    • I seriously find this guys entitled whining ridiculous. I mean calling corporates full of shit and prude Indians because he didn’t understand his audience well, and included jokes about sexual stuff even after being told not to? All it tells me is that this dude has no common sense and also a huge sense of arrogance in that he thinks everyone has to like him. Plus he wants his money, money, money… never mind that his audience was not impressed by him. Ok, so he has a stand up gig full of x jokes, he goes to a gig where people are of y type, they dislike his x stuff, and then make it clear .. and so they all are jerks, a-holes etc – but he is awesome and wants his money. ROTFL onlee..and because of that indians are jerks, prudes, shit etc. All because our awesome comic couldnt judge his audience and they didnt like his act. Hope this guy grows up.

      akash

      November 14, 2013 at 7:59 pm

      • So it is ok to repudiate your contract because the jokes turned out to be x and not y?
        And for the very same reason he has lost his right to live?

        lallu lal

        November 15, 2013 at 1:09 am

  154. Hey, i just sent the German Consulate a message about what happened with you, along with a link to this blog post, as well as i have shared this link on Facebook as well, hope that helps, it hurts that you provided your services and then didn’t get paid up, this is absolutely, completely, morally wrong. Hope the efforts of the people above as well as mine get you recognition.

    Have a Good Day.

    Priyanshu Agrawal

    November 14, 2013 at 7:42 pm

    • Did you ask them to ask the company guys if they were born by photosynthesis? That should be a new discovery for these scientists I guess :P

      parth jha

      November 14, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    • Why should they pay if the audience didnt like his jokes?

      akash

      November 14, 2013 at 9:12 pm

  155. Just have to say this one thing, do you ever bad mouth your family in front of others? No right. It’s the same thing when it comes to your country in front of others. As a corporate would say, know your customer. We all know what you’ve said are facts but its better to make fun of facts that don’t portray your nation in bad light in front of others.

    Sachin

    November 14, 2013 at 8:25 pm

    • Tabh to humare yahan bhai bhai ke jhagde nahin hote ;-)

      lallu lal

      November 15, 2013 at 1:10 am

  156. I am going to turn 60, am a proud fucking Indian, enjoy the stand up comedies with my kids around. Maybe I am a happy sardar, love humor and feel most Indians suck (and they don’t even enjoy it). My 60 years experience is that North still has some humor (look at Rahul, what a joke) others are just waiting for rebirth. Don’t let this one incident kill your humor, (did not want to call it stand up, lest you misunderstood) wait for at least ten! Best of luck!

    Jassal

    November 14, 2013 at 8:30 pm

  157. Khaya Piya kuch nahi Glass toda Baar aaana….

    ron

    November 14, 2013 at 8:46 pm

  158. I can understand your disappointment. But as someone who has been on the public-speaking circuit herself, all I will say is, the communication needs to be tailored to the audience.

    All speakers survey their intended listeners’ preference and also the context in which they are expected to deliver their communication. A basic background research is expected.

    This was a corporate gig and I agree with the organizers that there was no need for the teenage, juvenile sex jokes. With another target audience, this might have worked. And, there is a difference between self-deprecating humour and just plain sex jokes.

    You can make light of non-touchy subjects too … And, oh, for those going ‘Peters would have shocked the hell out of them.’, all I can say is, people choose to go to watch Peters, But, when Peters is engaged to perform for others, I am sure, even he is given a brief on some subjects that might be considered as not being audience-friendly enough.

    And, oh, just because you are into stand-up comedy doesn’t mean you need to come up with >>only<< offensive, scatological or innuendo-laden stuff. Use your brains and set a new standard for comedy. Dropping the S-E-X word and expecting the room to explode in laughter is as juvenile as it gets.

    And, don't insult your audience. They are quite capable of responding to intelligent humour, not just at what tickles their groins. There is a dearth of intelligent humour in India and as a member of the general audience, I find it insulting that this is the best the Indian stand-up comedians can come up with.

    Gazillion

    November 14, 2013 at 8:50 pm

    • Kudos to the Gazilion….

      ron

      November 14, 2013 at 9:30 pm

    • Yes, it’s all his fault. Now do “all speakers” also do only charity work. Or can he ask to paid (with your permission obviously).

      Nav

      November 14, 2013 at 9:42 pm

      • This blogger is also a self-labelled entrepreneur. I am sure he must have a few checks and balances in place to retrieve his money. He will get the payment, if not in full at least partially. But, payment for what? For substandard work? Nobody is going to pay you just for having shown up.

        This guy was a hired entertainer. He didn’t own the place that he could just walk in and treat the gig so casually. But then, the blogger himself admits that the only reason he touched this assignment was to make a quick buck. The comedian himself never valued his work or what he was offering to his client.

        And, if you are really good at what you do, two things will happen —

        a) People will come seeking you. Your name and fame will grow by word of mouth. You will not have to tell people how important you are; they will tell you.
        This blogger had a wonderful opportunity to turn this corporate client into a lifetime client. He blew it with his stupidity and feelings of being superior to those giving him business.

        b) You will have variety in your kitty. Don’t tell me this guy knows to only crack sex jokes or come up with political ribbing. If you are an entertainer, you are expected to have jokes for a wide variety of audiences … primarily so that you don’t ever have to go without moolah. Survival 101.

        Gazillion

        November 14, 2013 at 10:50 pm

        • Are you the one who files for refund of entertainment tax after a boring movie?

          lallu lal

          November 15, 2013 at 1:15 am

    • Yup…and they are also matured enough to respond to something they don’t like with threats and non payment…bravo!

      lallu lal

      November 15, 2013 at 1:13 am

  159. Haha. I didn’t know masturbating is so shameful act and Indians are not supposed to do it!

    Ash

    November 14, 2013 at 9:35 pm

  160. I am confused. What did these guys think is Stand-up comedy???!!!!??!!! Everything you said there, is intact, really mellow from usual stand up comedy acts!

    Purnima

    November 14, 2013 at 9:37 pm

  161. Why not 6th time? Try with oil for which everyone fight

    Sigh

    November 14, 2013 at 10:25 pm

  162. You are a sick human to think that Indians had a sense of humor, let alone laugh at themselves. Sardi’s are an exception :)

    Hari

    November 14, 2013 at 10:29 pm

  163. Phod diya bhai phod diya! Paise mil gaye- achha hua. Party kab hai? ;-)

    DontNoodles

    November 14, 2013 at 10:38 pm

  164. It happened with me too! but on the other end…
    had a leading comedian for my org,same “multi-national” audience and surprisingly same “censored” list was bombarded onto him through me and through organizing agency!.. but how can a comedian not speak on “so called corporate censored” list he started the way you did on a lighter note…. but then all Do not’s soon turned to do’s!!! though “junta” was enjoying at fullest but I was in soup, slowly started feeling heat from my bosses eyes… real moment came when all “ladies” quit the ground of vulgarity … and then we (or rather I) had to ask the comedian to stop 5 mins before scheduled slot very sad :( … !

    I would say this was the best live comedy show I had ever witnessed… and everyone enjoyed all above/below-the-belt-jokes at fullest……

    For a comedian satisfying entertainment of his audience is best return he/she can expect….

    -Proud to be an IITian!

    Icareforu

    November 14, 2013 at 10:44 pm

  165. Sad to hear bro. Im glad the blog forced them to pay up. Im sure a lot of people enjoyed the show that night, and for those who got offended really need to check on their self worth, I mean how insecure do you have to be to take offence so easily! And a lot of these conservative middle-aged corporate guys are a bunch of uptight stuck-up fucktards!!
    Anyway, Best of luck!
    Hope I get to watch you perform sometime!!

    Pratham

    November 14, 2013 at 11:08 pm

  166. You expect everyone in the audience to take your comments sportingly. And when they give you negative feedback on your one-liners, you cant tolerate it and vent out on social media. Who’s the hypocrite here I wonder…

    Russell Peters

    November 14, 2013 at 11:26 pm

  167. Wow, this is typical Social Media Whining. So what if you’re from one of the IIT’s. Does that entitle you to greater respect? What an arrogant SOB.
    By the way, you can’t blame the corporate folk calling them assholes, labelling all your fellow Indian as humourless and judging every one of you’re countrymen from YOUR perspective.
    You’re just shifting the blame because I can imagine you almost peeing in your pants out of sheer embarrassment,
    The reason I’m using such harsh words aganist your Arrogant little Obnoxious ass is because you are think too Highly above yourself.
    You were getting paid to entertain a room full of Corporates and bussinessmen, not a bunch of immature metro Teens. You’re TICKETS were not being bought!! You were getting paid with ample of prior warnings as to what to refrain from.
    I wanna spit on your face because the people like You are what is messed up with this pseudo Intellectual attitude, and then you whine on a public forum. If you’ve got the balls show me the video, and then we shall judge, I’m not going to take your side of the story and commend you for your lame sense of humor, besides Humour doesn’t meanonly going on about Sex Jokes and the repeated refernces of Toilet humor.
    Again, stop being a little girl and Post me the link of the video. I shall judge you as a Corporate that has come for a event where You are beinf paid to perform and entertain the people that are entitled the right to tell command you, what limits you have to maintain while doing your little unfunny Act.
    BTW, your face Fucking irritates me.
    This is just a Case of Sour Grapes. Grow a pair ”IITian’; !!

    eazy777

    November 15, 2013 at 12:56 am

    • So honking is sexual joke?
      No wonder you didn’t get into an IIT!

      lallu lal

      November 15, 2013 at 1:18 am

    • Bhai, Hindi main likh deta ager English nhi ati hai to.

      Niraj

      November 15, 2013 at 9:23 am

    • I second this opinion.

      Nandan

      February 19, 2014 at 1:31 am

  168. Shared on fb, german consulate mumbai and boi media website

    Navneet

    November 15, 2013 at 1:05 am

  169. Reblogged this on Hadibouy's Blog and commented:
    Thats why people from other countries won’t talk to us. -_-

    hadibouy

    November 15, 2013 at 2:18 am

  170. Hi,
    I am so glad I read this post.
    I was wondering, was I the only one offending people with words.
    Was I the only one from another planet!!
    I laughed at all the jokes you shared without being offended & laughed more on the accuses made on you.
    I don’t know about the majority of the country, but I know, you are at another level & will definitely reach higher & looking back, this would be another joke.. :)

    The Happiness Manager

    November 15, 2013 at 2:56 am

  171. Ufffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
    Par chalo, ant aadha bhee bhala to……..

    Reena Satin

    November 15, 2013 at 2:58 am

  172. Mate, You did well. Infact good!
    What you did was, you served a beef biriyaani on a bhramin wedding.
    What the channel ppl told you was to avoid the beef pieces and serve only the curry.
    You DID the same but you told the crowd its a soup. (a beef soup)
    Even though the crowd eats beef in private, they had to show frustration at the atrocity.
    What they asked after your show was to return the beef alive!
    we have to put these ppl thru a couple of ‘lewis black/ jeff dunham’ show’s first before they understand what a stand up act is.
    you should have stole the show if you wud have just slapped on a skirt and did a bollywood item number. its their level of thinking. and your job is not to raise THEIR level.
    Keep it real.

    svwwt shas

    November 15, 2013 at 4:40 am

  173. Bloody hypocrites………………doing is fine but saying is an offence!! Now you have one more to add to your list of jokes about inviting prformers, having them do their job and then not paying them picking at things that did not even exist.

    priyanka

    November 15, 2013 at 7:10 am

  174. Come to USA…you will rock in New York, we will be cheering you….Leave stand up comedy for others in India…..May be you will be as famous as Russell Peters and have a show of your own in Saturday Night Live. Howzzzz that? Good that they gave you your fees. And who are those girls ‘ moral science teachers ???’….oh my God when will they throw the ‘achcha banne ka naqaab’….first of all what are they doing and why are they in an entertainment business if they don’t understand what the business is…GOSH…..And those men…did they come to listen to some ” Bhajan-Kirtan ” ???!!! True hypocrites…. Anyways all the best for your future shows. Keep Rocking…!!!!!

    Nick

    November 15, 2013 at 8:02 am

  175. Hey man, I am starting to do Stand Up comedy here in the Philippines, and also happen to be half-indian. I know some people who think exactly like most of the Indians in your audience that night. It was really quite sad to hear what happened and how they behaved towards you.

    I think your jokes were good (I was chuckling to myself while reading the setups), but, regardless of what I thought, that should have not been a factor in how you were treated. An agreement was made to provide stand up comedy, and you did, so you should have been paid accordingly. This was not even a case of the organizers trying to stiff you out of payment, they were just butt-hurt for no reason. If anything, they should be mad at whoever recommended you to them, for not doing enough research on the kind of comedy that you perform.

    I know you won’t, but in case you are thinking or even considering it, please do not change how you do comedy. It’s progressives like you that will help push people out of comfort zones and engage in some critical thinking. Good luck with the rest of your career and hope better experiences for you in the future brotha!

    On a lighter note, Corporate Gigs are like blowjobs: They are easy money, but you are left with a horrible taste in your mouth afterwards :)

    suitedpairs

    November 15, 2013 at 9:33 am

    • Hahah. I know corporate gigs are like blowjobs. But sometimes, on a bad night, you end up being picked up by a psycho serial killer. And that’s what happened.

      And sure, am not going to change my comedy at all. Still no idea why they picked up a heavily political comedian for a gig that basically needed jokes on relationships and shopping. (Most of them would have been highly sexist and the ladies still wouldn’t have had a problem.)

      The Single Screen

      November 15, 2013 at 9:42 am

      • I think hindsight after the gig is easy. Even then, it would be very hard to judge what the crowd may or may not have liked. I am pretty sure that given the sheer number of people in India, you will find a huge niche audience who will love your stuff. By “stuff”, I mean your comedy. I am sure some people love your other “stuff” just as much

        I guess you go into a corporate gig (realistically) thinking it won’t be a great show, but never expect to have such hate or ill-will thrown towards you.

        If you ever decide to come over to Manila and do a set, we have great crowds here and have shows almost every week. I am sure you will have a blast here

        suitedpairs

        November 15, 2013 at 9:51 am

  176. Well interestingly the media company should have never gone ahead with a stand up if they knew there would be knee jerks in the event. But very few Indians in this vastness really have any sense of humor. The ones that do not, take jokes meant at India and Indians personally. And I feel I see it too often, let’s put this I was at a Comedy Store gig with Tanmay Bhat, this guy was killing it with his material and a 40 something damsel was enjoying it till the time he starting humoring about Gods, Tanmay pretty much kicked on every religion but one specific got her to explode, she felt offended and said I am not coming back. In short feel a lot of people on the show are hypocritical on why they attend these shows & of course laughing at themselves is a big no.

    Ryan Martis

    November 15, 2013 at 10:21 am

  177. Your content is transformative. Dont give up. Fights these insecure, over-sensitive, boring, humor-less, lets-not-offend-anyone, hypocrites, assholes. Imagine India ever having Roast shows like they have in US,Comedy Central. You are a true Indian. Break some more ankles and knees.

    Rajesh Chokhani

    November 15, 2013 at 1:36 pm

  178. Next time if u ever do risk performing in a corporate gig (read villagers) take a few videos along to prove that this is exactly wat stand up comedy is. Best example is definitely Russell peters. :D

    Sangram

    November 15, 2013 at 2:36 pm

  179. Dude, I think this message should go loud and clear and personally to you. Germans were not offended because you were not standing in Germany, you were in India where there were mixed population, So if you make fun of Indians obviously Indians will be the one to be offended. Secondly, on professional terms when you were told specifically to refrain from any such comments and that too the second time on stage, why did you not comply…? Its people like you who give Indians a bad name and suppose that they will get the publicity and the space in society by belittling some other society or their own… You try to quote Russell Peters, are you even in a position to do that…?? i don’t think you happened to see his most recent performance in Delhi, he did not denounce Indians on their own soil, yes he did that but that was not in India and moreover he is not Indian, he is canadian. We have all the right to say things about people from across the world while we are in our own country but not when you are on their soil. I know pretty well what stand up comedy is and this is something which comes naturally, a god gifted talent, a stand of comedy is supposed to be a refresher for the audience, you cannot denounce people on their own soil and expect them to take that lightly and if they don’t, well, as per you they are uncivilized, tell me this, how civilized is it to denounce people in their own house. And ironically on the top of this you want the Germans to interfere and tell the Indians that they were not offended, how very idiotic of you…!! I think you said all that because you ran out of ideas and were not prepared to make them laugh, making jokes about your own people is not going to take you far in this career so drop it. Remember, a stand up comedy is supposed to make people laugh along with a clear and heart touching message, heart touching and not poignant. And lastly, I don’t think you are IIT grad…

    Arindam

    November 15, 2013 at 5:55 pm

    • so lets just put u in the “offended people”‘s column n call it a day. coz u too dont understand the concept of a modern stand up comedian.
      there is nothing wrong in wat he said.
      wat u dont think we honk a lot in traffic? u dont think guys masturbate a lot? n making fun of cattle is offensive to whom? the cattle? n lastly no one really gives flying fuck if he is an IIT grad, he was there as a stand-up comedian. not give a lecture, his job was to be funny not technically accurate. so stop being so ignorant n grow up.

      Sangram

      November 15, 2013 at 7:30 pm

  180. well… i think the honking indians do had a point somewhere.. we indians lack in portraying ourselves to so called foreigners.. y to show yourself inferior and insane?? well the differences are always der coz they r two lands with totally diff history, geography etc. etc. and it was somewer regional if not specific to caste or religion!! though it was humour and could have been taken lightly….!! but i think things have to be audience specific.. there’s no need to quit!

    Sur Gupta

    November 15, 2013 at 8:02 pm

  181. Hi dear.

    I got directed to your story from Facebook.

    Lack of talent and originality drives people to resort to easy comedy like this. Indians, traffic, masturbation, etc etc.. Try to customize the jokes to the profile of audience. I am not saying that bad words or using cow meat jokes is bad. But there is a thing called getting the pulse of audience. Where you failed. Tune karo.

    You were performing for them.They were not listening to what ever you had within your limitations. More than your cheque, you should have been crying for not satisfying your audience. Don’t call the customer bad please.

    I am sorry if i have been very direct. I hope you are mature to understand.

    Regards
    Vijay Bajaj2605@gmail.com

    cricketgenius

    November 15, 2013 at 8:23 pm

    • THIS.

      Amol Vikram Singh

      November 15, 2013 at 8:47 pm

  182. It’s heart warming to see a lot of Indians actually stand up against this high-handed behavior of corporate India. It’s quite shitty how we as India with a majority of our working force being in the youth age group, still have to live and abide by the ridiculous rules laid down by the conservatives who like to live under a veil of hypocrisy.

    At TopicIndia.com we plan to address issues like these and much more, highlighting the average Indian’s intolerance to such an attitude and the resulting behaviour. Feels good to know that we actually have a market to resonate with – it helps us justify ourselves and our project to all those hypocrite financiers and sponsors!

    Maclein Cornelio

    November 16, 2013 at 6:58 am

  183. You obviously know how to be funny, the above write-up is proof of that. But you should have the common sense to plan your act according to audience sensibilities. No doubt your ‘brief talk’ and related stuff are laughable, but surely its no rocket science to figure out the kind of comedy that would tickle a corporate group. As for your payment, well think about the person from the event management company who would have recommended you for the act, this person must have lost his/her promotion, increment or annual bonus (if not his/her job) because of your act. Not a laughing matter any more, right?

    nivesmileNivedita Singh

    November 16, 2013 at 10:30 am

    • The corporate selected me on the basis of MUCH EDGIER stuff i had sent them as a sample. How could i know they will suddenly grow offense-nerves? I was briefed just 2 hours before the event to remove cuss words etc (NOT to change my material, just removing cuss words and refs. to religion/caste. Removing cuss words is easy, changing material 2 hours before the show is impossible unless you go there and read poetry and hope nobody notices.)

      As i stated above – the issue is not that nobody laughed, issue is Indians were offended because the jokes were being made in front of foreigners and foreigners WERE laughing. Inferiority complex and the need for ‘white man’s approval’ is the issue here. Nation as a holy cow is the issue here.

      As for somebody else getting in trouble because of me, well, i do feel sorry for whoever was in-charge from the client side. Event company is in the clear as they didn’t thrust me on the client, client herself did the selection. So yes, sorry for whoever it was. If the person approaches me, i will do my best to fight for her and write to the client to mend things.

      The Single Screen

      November 16, 2013 at 12:16 pm

  184. kya baat hai i guess the guys who got offended actually masturbate more than 5 times a day, thats y they got offended.these motherfucking money laundering blood sucking bastards should be killed, if u can’t take a joke then don’t organize a comedy show,i mean thats as logical as it gets right.. no hypocrisy..

    shoham

    November 16, 2013 at 2:53 pm

  185. Charge ahead next time… Advance booking is the way in india…

    Basujit

    November 16, 2013 at 9:42 pm

  186. It seems they done a major error.The major error they done is selecting u for their meetup. Even after reading ur version of story I didn’t find any fault in the thing they done. Why don’t u do some other thing for a living instead of malingning every other in name of comedy.

    Anon

    November 17, 2013 at 12:32 pm

  187. Well I am from IIT and I remember janta discussing the record number of masturbation in a day on DC++ (public chat room) :D

    anon

    November 17, 2013 at 4:43 pm

  188. I really enjoyed reading your jokes. Bewkoofo ki kam nahi, ak dhundo hajar milte hi.
    One suggestion: know your audience before speaking.

    Amol

    November 20, 2013 at 8:17 am

  189. Woaahh!! While I hear everyone. I think rj has just raised the argument in the most apt way possible. One cannot ignore his point of view and the weightage of some of the points he has made. It would be great if the artist in question also did a little home work on the kind of setting it was going to be. No offense to his skill or talent here. I think he is a fabulous guy. But unlike people coming to watch a stand up comedy show ones that happen in the corporate space are more for entertainment and obviously people have their guards up there cos they’re at work and have their bosses around and shit. But anyone taking a dig at you for respresnting India in a bad light can piss off. So guys, let there be constructive criticism if any and don’t abuse back if you cannot match up to the quality of the argument. And hey, P.C.Sarkar is probably dying(part 2) of hiccups wherever he is. So let him be.

    Siddharth sharma

    November 20, 2013 at 12:08 pm

  190. Thank god .. they’ve not banned wordpress :P

    kabeerraheja@gmail.com

    November 20, 2013 at 1:06 pm

  191. BOI is bank of india for those not in the know.
    Can you explain the term masturbate please, I am unaware.

    Boizoned

    November 20, 2013 at 3:55 pm

  192. Fuck them Buddy! Your jokes had some truth in them. If they get hurt by these, it’s their problem!

    supanup

    November 23, 2013 at 3:30 am

  193. I am just chiming in to probably what many have mentioned before. The speaker is an idiot, and so is the host who invited him. The host should have checked his previous performances, and the host should have got his material reviewed or outright refused to perform when they asked him to tone it down before the performance. You “have” to know your audience before you perform. It is not a mark of regressive or orthodox society – you would have been as out of place in N America if you showed up in a corporate event and started making jokes about masturbation.

    It is not about culture sensitivity either – that is basic human etiquette. And don’t get me wrong, stand up comedy is fine. Making jokes about Indian culture and other things is totally fine too. But there is a place for it, and this was not it.

    Finally, I find a couple of your jokes very pointedly aimed at religion and Indian culture. No problems with that, but I don’t understand why you denied that when you got a call from the organizers.

    jawsnnn

    November 25, 2013 at 9:57 am

    • I disagree about it being inappropriate unless the corporate event was a business that catered to super religious ppl or children and even then masturbation is not a big taboo unless we are talking about very young children.

      Raymond Fernandez

      November 28, 2013 at 11:18 am

  194. I’m not indian and i’m from San Francisco California but after reading your experience i’m just in shock of what you have to deal with. I do understand that things are very different there and india is changing but this is insane. It reminds me of what i see as a reaction from the japanese. The constant obsession with only showing the positive side and never the negative or leaving a negative impression comes off to americans as fake and orchestrated at best and at worse it looks like censorship and a tendency to be dishonest and ignore all flaws. I’m sure you weren’t performing for an american audience but i wish ppl of other countries were aware that sometimes their own need to control the impression does in fact make the worst impression. I have no idea how condoms and frequency of masturbation of college students makes india look bad and while germans do have an intimidating stereo type i can’t imagine them not laughing or finding your jokes entertaining. The corporation needs to truly grasp that the majority of negative views of india are based around how women are treated and how repressive and prudish they are about sex/masturbation/nudity etc. So it would seem their obsession about making a good impression is less about actually trying to make a good impression and more about enforcing their own personal taboos. I wish you a freer society and great success

    Raymond Fernandez

    November 28, 2013 at 11:15 am

  195. Full respect bro… Keep at it! :)

    ikakook

    December 3, 2013 at 2:29 pm

  196. I am a thespian myself and am all for freedom of speech for artists but when you are called for a gig like this you must, for your own sake atleast, check with the organizers as to what your audience would be like. If you believe all kinds of humour must by all means be accepted in all kinds of gatherings, you are terribly wrong. You were paid (or atleast promised) to entertain. You failed to do it. Deal with it.
    The insult you had to face was unfortunate.

    Nandan

    February 19, 2014 at 1:20 am


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